Wide Receivers/Tight Ends

Must Start: The Top 15

1. Randy Moss v. DAL – Remember that whole “Randy Ratio” business? The only thing wrong with it was the actual ratio, not the underlying concept. Case in point: last weekend’s game at Philly. Moss received a mere seven looks while Jerry Porter received twelve, Lamont Jordan ten, and Courtney Anderson nine. Perhaps Norval should give Coach Tice a jingle? Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.

2. Chad Johnson v. HOU – You can add “Lord of the Dance” to his ever-expanding list of aliases after a spot-on Michael Flatley impersonation in the Chicago end zone last week. Nobody but nobody does TD celebrations like 7-11…though I hafta admit that creepy Burger King guy gives him a run for his money. He says we should expect even more extravagant presentations in the near future. How’s this Sunday work for you, Chad?

3. Terrell Owens @ KC – Diva #3 has been toiling in relative anonymity these first few weeks but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, for him or us. Provided he keeps putting up huge numbers (80 yards and a touch last Sunday) and doesn’t rock the boat, it won’t really matter whether he’s happy or not. At least, it won’t matter to us.

4. Steve Smith v. GB – You probably thought I was cuckoo for suggesting he may end up the league’s leading receiver by year’s end (see Week 2’s Report) but, lo and behold, he’s well on his way. His three-TD outburst in South Florida was a thing of beauty and there’s no reason to think the porous Packers secondary will fare any better against him this Monday. Let’s make it a Carolina two-fer on the Shot Caller guarantee this week. Double or nothing.

5. Torry Holt @ NYG – With Ike Bruce ailing, Holt’s value to the Rams passing attack increases immensely. Not that he wasn’t already proving to be immensely valuable. He’s currently leading the league at 119.3 yards/game and has also managed to haul in a couple scoring strikes. He should have a field day against New York’s third-worst passing defense this Sunday.

6. Plaxico Burress v. STL – In fact, the game at the Meadowlands is shaping up to be a real barnburner. The addition of Plaxico gives the G-men three very dangerous weapons in the passing game (Shockey and Tiki are the others). If Eli keeps improving, you could be looking at a top 5 passing attack by the end of the season. Whether that propels New York into the playoffs or not will depend a lot on that suspect secondary.

7. Marvin Harrison @ TEN – You just know Peyton and the boys are gonna bust out in a big way one of these weeks. I’d hate for them to do it the week I pull them collectively from the rankings. OK, I’m only bluffing. I wouldn’t really do that. Let’s give Starvin’ Marvin another shot this weekend against the Titans, a team he’s flummoxed on more than one occasion in the past.

8. Terry Glenn @ OAK – Did you notice he’s averaging over 100 yards/game to this point? Apparently, he likes playing for the guy who once famously called him a her. He isn’t Bledsoe’s favorite red zone target (that would be Meshawn or Jason Witten) but he’s sure as shootin’ the ‘Boys’ #1 home run hitter. Expect him to hit one out this Sunday at the Black Hole against a hapless Oakland defense.

9. Brandon Lloyd v. ARI – Speaking of hitting one out, Lloyd turned the trick on Glenn’s Cowboys last week, going way back to the tune of 89 yards and a touch. He added another one later in the game (from 13 yards out), fueling speculation that the Niners may indeed have an honest-to-God pulse on offense this season. It’s early yet, but he seems to have the tools to be a sleeper stud the rest of the way. Keep your eye on him.

10. Joe Horn v. BUF – How on earth does Aaron Brooks complete ONE pass to his best receiver just six days after hooking up with him nine times for well over 100 yards? Don’t tell me it was the competition, either. If you’re wondering why I’m so hard on Mr. Brooks, now you know. Expect Horn to bounce back this Sunday, though not quite to the level he attained on Hurricane Relief Weekend (aka, Week 2).

11. Rod Smith @ JAX – Smith has been remarkably consistent this season, notching between 80 and 90 yards every week thus far. He even managed to find the end zone last Monday night, giving his owners an added bonus. He probably came cheap on draft day but I doubt the same could be said now. Hope you were smart enough to snag him.

12. Jimmy Smith v. DEN – It took him sixty minutes and then some to make his mark last Sunday at the Meadowlands. Lucky for Jacksonville, he made it when he did, hauling in the game-winning 36-yard scoring strike in overtime and salvaging what was otherwise a fairly lackluster performance by the Jags. This week, he draws a Denver defense that could be without its top playmaker, Champ Bailey.

13. Keenan McCardell @ NE – Wasn’t the return of Antonio Gates supposed to make him LESS valuable? Like his former running mate, Smith, the ageless McCardell just flat-out produces and is now tied for the league lead with four TD grabs through three games. He faces a New England squad this Sunday holding its secondary together with used chewing gum and some baling wire. Translation? Don’t you dare sit him down.

14. Larry Fitzgerald v. SF – The loss of Kurt Warner means Fitzgerald’s value (along with Anquan Boldin’s) takes a serious hit. However, you probably won’t notice until the two play a team with a legitimate defensive secondary. The Niners possess anything but, having surrendered an appalling 369 yards and three TD passes per contest so far. Give him one more week before deciding whether or not to sit him down.

15. Darrell Jackson @ WAS – As predicted, he tortured Fitzgerald’s teammates last weekend, racking up eight catches and 125 yards in the shellacking at Qwest Field. Unfortunately, the Redskins won’t be nearly as generous this Sunday. He should still get a few opportunities to shine and if he capitalizes, he’s probably ranked too low.

Grab A Helmet:

T.J. Houshmandzadeh v. HOU – If you didn’t see the game, you probably think he was a non-factor. In reality, he had two scoring opportunities wiped out by penalties. The first was a pass interference call against the Bears on a play he would have scored on. The second was a pass interference call against 7-11 on a play he DID score on. The numbers rarely lie but they certainly did in his case last weekend. Stick with him.

Keyshawn Johnson @ OAK – Terry Glenn makes the highlight plays. Meshawn makes the ones that score points. It’s a sweet combo for the ‘Boys right now and though you gotta wonder if these two old warriors can sustain it over the long haul, there’s no compelling evidence to suggest they can’t. They’re smart, they’re savvy, and they play for the second-best coach in the game. (Sorry, Tuna. Had to be said.)

Donald Driver @ CAR – It’s certainly important the Packers get the younger pups involved (Ferguson, Chatman, and Murphy), but they still need Driver to catch more than two balls every week if they want to be successful. He didn’t in Week 3 and they weren’t. He’ll do better on Monday night but I’m doubtful the result will be much different. Call me a pessimist. Wife hates it.

Michael Jenkins v. MIN – I honestly didn’t think I’d be recommending a Falcons receiver this year but the former Buckeye is starting to look like he might be a difference-maker. He’s big and fast and seems to have earned the trust of his notoriously wideout-leery QB. If you saw the Bengals’ big boys torch the Vikings secondary in Week 2, you already know he’s a matchup nightmare for them. Take a flyer on him if you’re short-handed this week.

Michael Clayton/Joey Galloway v. DET – Life was much simpler for Clayton’s owners when Mr. Galloway was on the shelf. Nevertheless, his re-emergence is probably one of the major reasons (along with the arrival of Cadillac) for Tampa’s sudden change in fortunes. If you don’t like playing the guessing game, stay away from them both. If you can live with a bit of risk, start either one. You never know who the favored target’s gonna be on any given Sunday.

Deion Branch/David Givens v. SD – That’s nothing new for the folks who own one of these guys, of course. Nobody shares the wealth better than Tom Brady and that can lead to some frustrating Sunday afternoons for fantasy GMs. Then again, you’d have looked pretty good starting either one of them as your third receiver last week, as they accounted for over 200 yards in total offense. Like I said, it’s all about risk tolerance.

Drew Bennett v. IND – He’s listed as probable for the showdown with Indy and though I’m not all that psyched about players facing Indy these days (my, how times have changed!), I’m making an exception in his case. Why? Because the last time he faced them, he scored three times on three receptions. If lightning strikes twice, the Titans will give the Colts all they can handle at Adelphia.

Grab Some Wood:

Andre Johnson @ CIN – I know what you’re thinking. The bye week allowed the Texans to sort some things out on offense and now Johnson is ready to explode onto the scene, albeit a couple weeks late. Hey, if you believe that, go for it. I, for the record, do not. David Carr is simply a poor quarterback at this point and even if he weren’t, his line doesn’t give him enough time to throw the football. Something needs to change in Houston and I suspect that something might end up being the head cheese, Coach Capers.

Any Buffalo receiver @ NO – J.P. Losman is still the QB so there’s nothing new to report here. Wait until he proves he can shoulder his share of the load. Might wanna grab a Snickers or something.

Laveranues Coles @ BAL – Two words: Brooks Bollinger. Two more: Baltimore Ravens. Can you say “train wreck?”

Santana Moss v. SEA – For the first time in…oh, forever…he was the most productive Moss of the weekend, tallying 159 receiving yards and two huge, game-sealing touchdowns in the final four minutes against Dallas. So why am I not convinced? We’ve seen him “turn the corner” before, folks, about two years ago in New York. He didn’t build on his momentum then and he won’t now, thanks mostly to the fact his QB is rotten and doesn’t have the kind of arm that can best utilize his blazing speed.

Best of luck, folks!