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FF In The Groin
Week 1
9/13/05

Week 1 is in the books! Groin is back! Lets get rollin’...

Groin Shot of the Week Candidates

Willie Parker (209 Yd, 1 TD) – Believe the hype? Maybe... well, probably... The Tennessee defense is really, really... really bad (really). At least they were yesterday and I don’t see a quick fix in their future. However, with veterans Duce Staley and Jerome Bettis on the shelf, it is now Parker’s job to lose. He may not be a monster around the goal line but as long as he continues busting off 40+ yard plays he won’t have to be. And rookie Heath Miller could be in line for a bunch of short TDs this year. Note for sportscasters everywhere: “Parker is NOT a rookie!” Sorry, had to vent there for a second.

Carnell ‘Cadillac’ Williams (148 RuYd, 1 TD) – Believe the hype part 2? Yes. Pretty sure about this one. Considering Michael Pittman had 0 carries and 0 catches, coach Jon Gruden already has his new Caddy into 5th gear cruising down an open highway. When Gruden has gone with a primary ball carrier they’ve produced big. Pittman late last season was on fire. Charlie Garner in 2001 with the Raiders. Cadillac is no Pittman or Garner. He’s better. Oh, and Alex Smith could be in line for a bunch of short TDs this year. I think I smell a trend. A TE trend.

Late or Undrafted Tight Ends - Courtney Anderson (OAK) with 2 TD. Chris Baker (NYJ) 7-124, 1 TD. Ernie Conwell (NO), 6-71. Jason Peters (BUF), 1 TD - actually considered a tackle now. Ben Troupe (TEN), 1 TD. Marcus Pollard (DET), 1 TD. Dan Wilcox (BAL), 8-78, 1 TD. Ben Utecht (IND), 1 TD. The aforementioned Miller and Smith. Yep, I definitely smell a trend here.

Jimmy Smith (7-130, 2 TD) – No offense to Larry Fitzgerald’s 13-155-1 impressive day, which rocked in my point per reception leagues, but considering my WR cheatsheet looked a lot like this in every draft I was in the past couple months, the 36 year old that no one wanted gets the nod. I guess this explains why I have Smith in so many leagues. Projected #11 ranked WR drafted after 25 or more WR are already off the board. Can you say bargain?

Comments From The Couch

  • Heck, even Quentin Griffin lasted 4 weeks as the starter last year. What a mess.

  • Braylon Edwards is supposed to be the new man for the Browns. Antonio Bryant is lighting it up in preseason. Who the heck is Frisman Jackson?

  • Last season the Panthers lost DT Kris Jenkins, among others, and the defense went to crap. The RBs were hurt and Mushin Muhammad ended the season with 16 TD. Kris Jenkins is gone again. Stephen Davis and DeShaun Foster aren’t exactly pillars of health. Steve Smith kicks off the season with an 8-138-1 day. I’m just saying...

  • Javon Walker is out for the year with a torn ACL. He didn’t get his new contract that he wanted in part because he (read: his agent Drew Rosenhaus) was afraid of injury. I feel bad for Walker getting injured, but not so bad that I feel he was justified holding out. If he didn’t want a 5 year contract, then he shouldn’t have signed a 5 year contract. Now when he plays out his final year after rehab he doesn’t have to show any loyalty to the Pack.

  • Speaking of the Packers, I know it is way, way too early to be saying this, but hypothetically speaking if they are as bad as they look right now, and end up in a position to draft QB Matt Leinhart next year, do they take him?

  • One quote of the day I caught from Tim Ryan: “... going into overtime, with the emotions with New Orleans ... I think the momentum is with the Carolina Panthers right now.” Uh, not so much. Nice clutch effort by the Saints. I didn’t even know “clutch” was in their vocabulary.

  • Thumbs down to the NFL broadcast rules for forcing FOX to pull away from the Saints-Panthers final 20 seconds so we can watch commercials prior to the start of the late games. I hate when a logical result takes a back seat to following the rules.

  • Big thumbs up to the Carolina fans for the standing ovation they gave the Saints players as they came on the field.

  • Whenever a new season starts up of any sport I always think back to the movie Major League with Harry Doyle (Bob Ueker) calling the first play of the year. “A lotta people say you can tell how a season's gonna go by the first hitter of the year.”

    The Rams-49ers game which opened with Chris Johnson back to return the kick, who inexplicably touches the ball right in front of and beside the end zone marker, and then he steps out of bounds, ball marked at the 1. To make it worse, Mike Martz challenges the call which clearly showed Johnson just made a bonehead play. Same old Martz blowing the timeouts, but this one was especially impressive with only 1 second gone in the game.

  • It is so obvious the Rams do not care about special teams it is ridiculous. You want a strategy for picking team defense where you are awarded return TDs? Just pickup whoever is playing against the Rams every week.

  • New football commercial contenders: Tom Brady with offensive linemen metaphors is not bad. The Patriots draft a Diet Pepsi machine doesn’t do a lot for me. Poor effort by FedEx with Culpepper and Bettis. The Burger King guy making miraculous TD plays is pretty good. I’ll give it good marks for originality.

  • Isn’t it a bad omen when the ultimate team in sports starts popping up in all sorts of commercials? Ah, it didn’t seem to have much impact against the Raiders. Kerry Collins looks like a great pick this year. These guys are going to be in some shootouts.

  • Damn that was a nice acrobatic TD catch by Keyshawn. He has only had double digit TDs once in his career, so grabbing a pair is a nice start this season. Who had him in? Jason Witten owners can’t be too happy with 1 catch for 12 yards. Who do you think is in Drew Bledsoe’s ear asking for the ball more, Keyshawn or Witten?

  • FF Today head honcho Mike Krueger was in Vegas on the weekend and got 25-to-1 odds for the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl. Those are great odds, and I wish he had called me earlier so I could get in on that action. The Jets might want a piece of that too after what they witnessed Sunday.

  • Patrick Ramsey requests a trade from the Redskins since Mark Brunell has been named the starter for week 2? Patrick, you don’t need to request it at this point. If the Redskins can get a halfway decent offer they will be sure to jump on it.

  • If we were looking for Groin Shot candidates who badly disappointed in week 1, I’d say Daunte Culpepper and Mike Anderson went above and beyond the call of duty here. Yes, I am master of the obvious sometimes.

  • I’m going to turn over a new leaf this year and not bash the kickers so much.

  • Okay Matt Stover, lets get some points here. I’ve got you in about half my leagues. Its up, up, up... Oh BLEEP BLEEP! You BLEEPIN’ BLEEP!

  • Et tu, David Akers? Et tu?

  • So Monday Night Football had an entire year to dream up an opening for their first Monday game of the year, and the best they come up with is that damn air traffic control Vick vs. McNabb thing? With the dad from Everybody Loves Raymond saying “Holy Cow!” - twice? Come on guys... It could be time to start tuning into MNF at 9:15 pm Eastern.

  • J.P. Losman still makes me nervous as a Bills fan, but I’m at least a little less nervous after a nice opener Sunday. However, I don’t think I want to rely on Rian Lindell for many more 5 FG games when the snow starts flying.

And The Winner Is…

Tough call here. Parker definitely won some games for people this week, as did Cadillac. That is, if they made your starting lineup even though you probably drafted them as your 3rd, perhaps 4th RB in Parker’s case. Jimmy Smith helped me a lot. I’m giving it to the TEs though. Other than those already listed, Jeremy Shockey and Randy McMichael had good games too each finding the end zone. About the only TE who truly disappointed from expectations was the consensus top 3 off the board - Gonzalez, Gates and Witten. At least Gates had a good excuse.