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Mike MacGregor | Archive | Email
Staff Writer


FF In The Groin
Week 13
12/2/02

HELP WANTED
Did you take one in the groin on the fantasy gridiron? Have some humorous quips about the NFL? Send me your best Groin Shots and Couch Comments Sunday night or early Monday each week and I'll add them to this column. This will really help me out as the holidays are fast approaching. Email
Records are falling and the snow is falling and the Cardinals have fallen and can't get up. Here's hoping your fantasy playoff aspirations haven't met the same fate.

Groin Shot of the Week Candidates

Steve McNair. What an effort for a guy that was a game-time decision because of a rib injury. Not only did he keep the Titans in the playoff hunt, but he managed to throw for 330+ yards and 3 TDs. That kind of performance will make those ribs feel better in a hurry.

[Contributed by Paul Jugasek, Proctor, MN]

Jeff Reed. I seem to remember an official FF In The Groin rule that a kicker who bangs home 5 FG in a game automatically makes the candidate list. Well, this unknown one ups us and hits 6 Sunday. Nice (rolling eyes). Plus, what this really tells me is that Jerome Bettis, Hines Ward and Plaxico Burress owners really got screwed over in this one with blown opportunities.

LaDainian Tomlinson. The experts say you might want to sit LT2 against Denver in week 13. He had a mediocre performance in week 12, and Denver is soooooo tough against the run. If you have better options at RB, you might want to consider them. Well, if you were playing against an owner who didn't listen to the experts, how's that groin feeling this morning?

[Contributed by Jon Hall, Monroe, GA]

[Mike: The only thing I have to question about this one is what expert is writing, "if you have better options at RB" with regards to LT2? Get out of that 2 team league, ya bum!]

Comments From The Couch

  • I thought that Kansas City didn't have a defense? They sure showed up this week with 4 INT and a shutout against Arizona. Makes a person think they are actually improving because Arizona can't be that bad. Well, I take it back. Arizona is that bad.
    [Contributed by P. Jugasek]

  • That was a nice pass from Randy Moss to Daunte Culpepper at the end of the fourth quarter for a TD. Too bad the play was flagged for an illegal formation. When you are as bad as the Vikings are, why not just run a normal play for a TD and a win, instead of screwing around with that razzle-dazzle crap. That alone should cost Mike Tice his job.
    [Contributed by P. Jugasek]

  • Love this comment by Dan Dierdorf referring to the Chargers pounding the ball with LaDainian Tomlinson in overtime against the Broncos: "When you have the hammer, you use The Hammer."

  • Mike Shanahan evidently does not think Clinton Portis qualifies as "The Hammer". At least not yet.

  • The Dolphins-Bills game flew completely in the face of reason Sunday. Ricky Williams runs for 228 yards...'Phins lose. Drew Bledsoe is slowing down and the passing game will suffer in really cold and windy conditions...passes for 306 yards and 3 TD. 'Phins will play conservative defense to prevent the big play...Bledsoe hits TD passes of 73 and 57 yards. It was a wild one for sure. A great game to watch...from the couch. But don't worry Bills fans who braved the cold. I wore my Bledsoe jersey and Bills parka in your honor from my TV room.

  • The Kurt Warner bashing will be in high gear again this week. Consider for a second though that with G Tom Nutten already out for the year, LT Orlando Pace is forced to leave the game early resulting in John St. Clair moving to LT and Andy King comes in to take the RT spot. Cris Collinsworth remarks, "Andy King isn't even on my board" (i.e. in his notes). The O-line, a banged up Marshall Faulk, questionable play calling by Mike Martz (again) and facing the Eagles. Not the best of situations for Mr. Warner.

  • Home Sweet Home for Brett Favre this week. Too bad the Packers can't play all of their games at Lambeau Field, or against the Bears for that matter. If the Pack can't get home field throughout in the playoffs, you might as well scratch them off the list of Super Bowl contenders.
    [Contributed by P. Jugasek]

    [Mike: Packer fans please send email to pjugasek@...]

  • Game-time decision award winner this week: Deuce McAllister. But after last week who had the faith to put him in? Honorable mention: Steve McNair. (Give the edge to McAllister since he was a late start.)

  • Just another day at the office for Priest Holmes and Marvin Harrison. Record watch: Holmes needs 5 more TDs to break Marshall Faulk's record of 26. Harrison needs 15 more receptions to break Herman Moore's record of 123. Fantasy playoffs, here these guys come.

  • Fantasy football owners have got to love games like Seahawks-49ers Sunday. If it was not for garbage time, how would Matt Hasselback put up numbers like 450+ passing yards and three touchdowns? Now the question is who would actually start this guy in the first place?
    [Contributed by P. Jugasek]

    [Mike: Wait a second. We used that joke last week.]

And The Winner Is...
Really too many players to choose from this week. At QB Hasselbeck, McNair, Bledsoe and Vick were all on fire. At RB Williams, Tomlinson, Portis, Henry, and Vick were amazing. (Ok, I've used that Vick joke before too.) If ever I was going to make a case for a kicker this week might be it. If I was John Madden, I guess I would just slap 8 or 9 pictures up on the horse trailer all at once, but here we make the tough decisions, and this week the hardware goes to "Little Emmitt", LaDainian Tomlinson. But no one really did bench him, did they?

Thanks to Paul and Jon for their contributions this week!

:: comments to mike macgregor