7/6/10
Everything from seemingly harmless trash-talk to underhanded
collusion can cause hard feelings among owners… and even
divide an entire league. Whether you’ve been the accused,
the betrayed, or just an innocent bystander wondering which side
to take, this column is for you. E-mail
the Devil's Advocate with a description of the controversy
brewing in your league (or a potentially unpopular move you’re
about to make), and I’ll give one of those emails an outsider’s
viewpoint in a future column. Maybe you’re right, maybe
you’re wrong; there are always two sides to a controversy.
Both sides will be explored in hopes of finding some middle ground
that helps you, and that any league can use to bolster its rules
and maintain that rogue ownership that makes fantasy sports all
the more entertaining.
Competitive Much?
Tee-ball and soccer leagues that don’t keep score? I feel
a twitchy grimace and a bout of nausea coming on. Maybe it’s
nicer that way, but it’s also just plain wrong. Nobody wins
with a score of zero, and a game without a winner is hardly a
game at all. Now, to the other extreme. This article’s subject
comes from a reader whose preseason dealings are so convoluted
with genius that displaying them in detail verges on the irresponsible.
Much like looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant, your
face may melt right off your skull. Intense nightmares may plague
you for months on end. Worse yet, you may just stop reading. Unfortunately
it can’t be edited for your protection, so here goes:
“In the interest of protecting my players,
I've traded away 5 players (and their corresponding draft picks)
to one of [our] new expansion teams for draft picks. This expansion
team will declare these 5 players as his keepers this year. Following
the declaration of keepers and before the expansion draft, this
expansion team will trade me back 4 of the players in exchange
for all of his draft picks. He will keep the 5th player as a thank
you. This way, he will go into the expansion draft with only 1
player on his roster, with the ability to still draft 7 additional
keepers. I will then go into the regular draft with 12 players
on my roster and only need to draft 8 players….[This is]
all within the rules of the league and could have been done any
year prior to now.”
The Guardian Angel
People devising diabolical schemes in order to win at all costs
spoil the fun for those who just want to enjoy the games and have
a good time. Those who spend all their time on the game must understand
that not everyone is, or has the time to be, as dedicated as them.
Other people (meaning most of the league) will view them as overly
competitive. Think of the brown-nosing co-worker; the gym class
jerk; the classmate with hand constantly raised, giving the Horshack
“Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!” That’s you, buddy. Do you really
want to be that guy? There is such a thing as too competitive.
The Fallen Angel
Too competitive? What an oxymoron! (Cocking a thumb at his fellow
angel) Those who want to just have fun must understand that their
laid-back fun is not for everyone. For many, the joy of competition
involves pushing the boundaries. Intently studying opponents,
practicing fundamentals to the point that they become instinct,
and pushing the limits of the human body often determine who wins.
Steroids and Spygate aside, pushing the envelope to gain an advantage
is a huge part of competition. You study, you practice, you strategize,
you scheme; and if you don’t do those things, you lose.
Here on Earth…
Who’s to say what is too competitive? Well, sadly, anyone.
As soon as someone schemes to get an edge, someone who didn’t
will likely call foul. The problem lies not in distinguishing
right from wrong, but in knowing how competitive your competition
is. That is often impossible to know until it’s too late.
While there are two sides to the argument, the solution is initially
the same for both: Zip it.
If you are tempted to stir things up when someone pushes or even
steps over the boundaries of common practice, it may be best to
keep your lips zipped and let it ride around the block once or
twice. Wait to see if the rest of the league steps up to that
owner’s challenge. If they do, your league just got more
competitive. If they do not, then you can start disseminating
the propaganda. If someone is gaining a clear advantage while
others sit back and take it, it’s just good strategy to
cut that gung-ho owner back down to size by provoking some controversy.
On the other end, when you’re struck by the lightning bolt
of a novel idea (as opposed to a tame light bulb in a puffy cloud
of thought), your best bet is to zip up the ol’ cranium.
Chances are it’s less genius, more heinous. There’s
probably a reason that it hasn’t been done before. So as
soon as you get that flash of brilliance, stop devising and return
to reality. Immediately get back to your day job, your kids, and
your spouse. Shut off the fantasy football factory for awhile.
Because once you do the deed, there’s no taking it back;
and once you think the thought, it’s nearly impossible to
restrain it. It’s very tempting to want to see what would
happen were you to unleash your evil genius upon the league. I
can tell you right here, it won’t turn out well.
Unfortunately for the reader who inspired this article, what is
done is done. He can forsake his own ethics and apologize; or
he can go against the league ethos and stand up for what he believes.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, a quick apology for
causing strife in the first place will probably do you good (“quick”
being the key word). But again, your best bet may be to keep your
mouth shut, become invisible for a while, and let the league sort
out the controversy. Giving explanations and false apologies,
and putting yourself on the stand in self-defense will only hurt
your case. You’re not going to change anyone’s mind.
Rebel against your own rebellious spirit, if just this once. Let
the law of the league run its course. If you are judged unfairly,
only then speak your mind—you probably won’t be a
part of that league much longer anyway. If you are treated justly,
humble yourself before one of the greatest leagues in the history
of fantasy sports and take your medicine with verve.
One of the most important tasks in any game is to know your competition.
Some owners are as zealous as you, some are barely existent. Some
of each are involved in most every league. The equally zealous
give you the drive to devise your best strategy; the barely existent
give the equally zealous an excuse to cry “too competitive”
the instant you break the mold. The trick to avoiding that label
is to know yourself. If you find yourself grinning about the brilliant
plan itself, rather than its intended outcome, you’re heading
for trouble. The instant you act on that grin, you’ve become
too competitive. To those on the outside, you’re simply
devious, scheming, and tricky. And, as another reader put it oh
so perfectly, “it’s never worth it to get tricky.”
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