| Week 1
 9/9/04
 
 Indianapolis at New England 
              (-3.5) , 9:00 pm
 Welcome Back. No, we’re not talking about Mace’s return 
              to hip-hop, fresh from a spiritual awakening that actually retarded 
              his personal growth. We’re talking about the return of the Colts 
              to Gillette Stadium, where they lost the AFC Championship Game in 
              January to the Patriots, who as you know went on to Super Bowl glory. 
              Peyton Manning — who has most likely had recurring nightmares about 
              Ty Law since that fateful day — comes off his best season to date 
              but is facing an enormous challenge in Week 1 against the Pats. 
              His counterpart, bubble-gum pop sensation Tom Brady, looks to repeat 
              his solid performance (22-37, 237 & 1 TD) and get the Super Bowl 
              Champs off to a rip-roaring start.
 
 The Colts will try to pick up where they left off, when they outscored 
              the Pats 14-9 in the second half last year. Manning will be more 
              careful this time around and avoid Law by picking on Pats cornerback 
              Tyrone Poole. Don’t expect big numbers from Manning. He’ll rely 
              on a balanced approach and the running game of Edgerrin James, who 
              is by all accounts healthy and poised to have a great season. Although 
              Marvin Harrison is a stud receiver who should be in your lineup 
              every week, don’t expect a career day from him against this secondary. 
              The Colts defense has come a long way from two seasons ago, but 
              I think the Patriots can move the ball effectively through its secondary, 
              which is inexperienced and prone to exposure. LB Cato June moves 
              into LB David Thornton’s old spot on the weak side (he’s now the 
              strong-side linebacker) and could be a fantasy factor.
 
 The Pats have added the much-maligned, often-beleaguered Corey Dillon 
              to their already solid offensive arsenal and shuffled Antowain Smith 
              off to Tennessee, where he has assumed a backup role. Dillon has 
              a lot to prove in his first game with the Patriots, who will play 
              a ball-control game. Unfortunately for Troy Brown fans and fantasy 
              owners who like to own Patriots receivers, this year promises a 
              variety of options for Brady, with Brown being considered a severely 
              diminished factor from years past. Brown actually prepared for limited 
              use at defensive cornerback during training camp, allowing the Pats 
              to keep six wideouts on their roster and still have another free 
              hand at CB — just in case they need it. While Brown struggled with 
              injuries last year, talented young receivers Deion Branch, David 
              Givens and Bethel Johnson are supplanting the elder statesman’s 
              numbers with some stats of their own. With all that said, I do believe 
              Brady will throw the ball to Brown occasionally, as long as he’s 
              healthy, but with less frequency as they reach mid-season. While 
              it’s not unusual for early season games in the AFC East to get pretty 
              woolly when it comes to offense, I think this one’s going to be 
              a lot like the January jaunt, which saw limited scoring and a few 
              key plays determine the outcome.
 Final Score: Pats 23, Colts 
                16Arizona at St. Louis, 1:00 
              pm There once was a team from L.A.
 that moved to St. Louis one day.
 They developed some “O” But let Kurt Warner go,
 and now have to Faulk it away.
 
 I know that was ridiculous, but it felt nice, and I wanted to loosen 
              up before this preview, because there’s a chance I’ll pull a hamstring. 
              Arizona is still the doormat of the league and St. Louis is still 
              just a couple key defensive starters away from being a real contender. 
              For our purposes, none of that stuff matters — not even the limerick. 
              The intriguing part is that this game could make or break Week 1 
              for lots of fantasy owners.
 
 The Cards were snake-bitten by serious injuries to RB Marcel Shipp 
              and WR Anquan Boldin in the preseason and will test starting QB 
              Josn McCown this year minus both those weapons. I hate saying this, 
              but although Emmitt Smith is older than the Grand Canyon, he still 
              could provide some fantasy value as a third running back in leagues 
              that require one. If you don’t have Emmitt, I wouldn’t rush out 
              to get him, and if you already have Emmitt as your #2 RB, you need 
              to reevaluate your draft strategy. Smith might put up decent numbers 
              in a third of Arizona’s games this year, and this will probably 
              be one of them. At WR, there are a lot of question marks as to who 
              McCown’ s go-to guy will be. There haven’t been too many wildly 
              successful rookie receivers in the league’s history, but Pitt product 
              Larry Fitzgerald could be the next. I also like Bryant Johnson’s 
              chances to catch 50+ passes this year, especially with few other 
              experienced receivers in the mix.
 
 I would stay away from McCown this game unless you have no other 
              options, just because there’s an outside chance he throws five picks.
 
 The Rams should have one of their easiest games in the past few 
              year for several reasons. Unlike the past four seasons, there aren’t 
              too many lofty expectations for this team. Faulk is healthy and 
              eager to prove his doubters wrong (although time will tell whether 
              his body can still hold up for a full season), and Marc Bulger’s 
              eyes will be wide open as he gets little pressure from the Cardinals 
              weak defensive line and picks apart the mediocre secondary.
 
 Torry Holt is a questionable but if he does play, he’s a must-play. 
              So is Isaac Bruce. You may also see some second-half production 
              from Stephen Jackson, who the Rams will use to spell Faulk.
 
 I don’t see much hope for the Cards in this one, although WRs Fitzgerald 
              and Johnson should both be safe plays this week as garbage time 
              will begin somewhere in the third quarter. ..
 
 
 Final Score: Rams 44, Cards 
                30
 Baltimore (-3) at Cleveland, 
                1:00 pm
 Other than acquiring backup QB Kordell Stewart and WR Kevin Johnson, 
                not much has been done to improve the offense in Baltimore, if 
                you consider those two moves improvements. The good news is that 
                RB Jamal Lewis is not (yet) incarcerated and former defendant 
                Ray Lewis still leads the best defensive team since Johnny Cochran, 
                Robert Shapiro, F. Lee Bailey and Carl Douglas. The Browns remain 
                very afraid of Jamal Lewis but will probably focus a little bit 
                more on him this time around.
 
 The Ravens run a conservative offense, not necessarily a great 
                thing for Kyle Boller, Travis Taylor and Kevin Johnson owners. 
                Jamal Lewis set an NFL single game rushing record against the 
                Browns last year, so obviously he’s the go to guy again. Don’t 
                expect anything quite as spectacular from Lewis this time around, 
                but it would be fair to anticipate at least 100 yards on the ground 
                and a score. Boller is the real question mark, and I would tend 
                to avoid him like the plague until HC Brian Billick proves he 
                is willing to have his young QB throw the long ball, which he 
                is very capable of doing. The Ravens defense may very well pitch 
                a shutout here, and is an absolute lock this week as a team defense.
 
 The Browns hoped to pave road to the playoffs this year by picking 
                up veteran QB Jeff Garcia. They have obviously not been watching 
                game tape of his play over the past couple years in San Fran. 
                Garcia’s best days are behind him and while the Browns will focus 
                less on willy nilly distribution via their seemingly endless options 
                at wide receiver and more on the evasive running style of Lee 
                Suggs, I don’t think this is the year. This will not be a nice 
                opening game for Suggs owners, who will have to decide whether 
                he will play around gametime. They may also be in for a disappointing 
                year. Willie Green, although currently the backup, is too good 
                to remain on the bench all year. If you have Garcia, seek medical 
                assistance immediately, and if you are that anxious to play a 
                Browns offensive player in your starting roster this week, make 
                it TE Kellen Winslow, Jr.
 
 Final Score: Ravens 23, Browns 
                6  Cincinnati (+4.5) at 
                N.Y. Jets, 1:00 pmI don’t think the Bengals were as good as everyone thought they 
                were last year, and evidently, the oddsmakers agree. Sure, they 
                have a lot of heart, but Jon Kitna played well above his head 
                last year, and now they’ve got Carson Palmer, who looks to me 
                like a younger version of Tim Couch, who is now getting cut more 
                often than clients of an Edward Scissorhands’ massage parlor. 
                Once the 1980s were over, Ohio football just went down a steep, 
                rocky hill.
 
 The Bengals may call on rookie RB Chris Perry occasionally, but 
                Rudi Johnson earned the starting job with some great performances 
                last year. Don’t hesitate to go with Johnson, who is on track 
                for a great season and might be capable of 1,300 yards or more. 
                While I would stay away from Palmer until he gets a few games 
                under his belt and proves himself at this level, I believe Chad 
                Johnson should still produce this week. He’s no longer a secret, 
                so just watch and see how he deals with double teams in the absence 
                of the injured Peter Warrick. Kelley Washington didn’t do much 
                as a rookie, but could pile up some statistics this year as a 
                decent possession receiver.
 
 The Jets will finally begin a season with Chad Pennington as their 
                starting QB, a morale factor that might lead this team to big 
                things in 204. They match up well against the Bengals, who have 
                a weak defensive line and general confusion among the rest of 
                the unit. People will score against the Bengals this year, and 
                that bodes well this week for Pennington, RB Curtis Martin, and 
                receivers Santana Moss and Justin McCareins. Don’t hesitate to 
                play any of these guys if you’ve got them. Defensively, I always 
                like DL John Abraham, DL Shaun Ellis, LB Sam Cowart and LB Eric 
                Barton. The Jets biggest weakness on defense is their secondary, 
                which hasn’t been the same since they lost Victor Green and Aaron 
                Glenn.
 
 Final Score: Jets 33, Bengals 
                21  Jacksonville (+3) at 
                Buffalo, 1:00 pmIf I didn’t own Fred Taylor and Jimmy Smith in my league, I wouldn’t 
                even care about this game. It is, however, my charge to discuss 
                it with you, and prognosticate without prejudice. There are some 
                intriguing possibilities surrounding this game. One interesting 
                item will be Willis McGahee’s role in the Buffalo offense, which 
                has been running smoothly behind Drew Bledsoe’s capable, albeit 
                ancient arm. Another is the injury to Fred Taylor, which fantasy 
                experts (at least the ones that I listen to) say won’t be a factor. 
                I’m still a little scared, but I’ll be paying him Sunday.
 
 The Jags are a much better team than they were before last season 
                because (1) Jimmy Smith is not serving his usual four-game suspension 
                and (2) QB Byron Leftwich has a few games under his belt and IS 
                the starting quarterback. Leftwich might throw some interceptions 
                against Buffalo trying to force balls into double coverage. While 
                there is no real second receiver on this team, I consider that 
                a blessing rather than a curse and just stay away from anybody 
                not names Jimmy Smith. Leftwich will not produce great fantasy 
                numbers against Buffalo — or anybody, for that matter, until he 
                finds someone other than Smith and Taylor to throw the ball to. 
                On defense, Mike Peterson will be the guy that produces big IDP 
                numbers game in and game out. The Bills have some great fantasy 
                players on both offense and defense, and will be a force to be 
                reckoned with even before McGahee is 100 percent. RB Travis Henry, 
                whom I’ve dubbed “The Reluctant Stud” wanted it known early and 
                often that he wouldn’t stand for split time with Willis McCheeseLeg, 
                claiming that he can’t get into a rhythm breaking up the offensive 
                workload. I hate to quote The Rock, but Henry really needs to 
                know his role and shut his mouth. If McGahee is healthy, he only 
                strengthens the offense. While it doesn’t make fantasy football 
                any easier for Henry and McGahee owners, I’m sure we’ll all cross 
                that bridge when we come to it. 2004 is an even number, so it 
                is safe to play WR Eric Moulds for the entire season. Rookie wideout 
                Lee Evans has impressed in camp, earned a spot as the #2 receiver, 
                and should get lots of looks from Bledsoe against Jacksonville.
 
 Final Score: Bills 27, Jags 
                20  San Diego (+4.5) at Houston, 
                1:00 pmThese two franchises both looked poised to gradually develop into 
                formidable contenders by 2005 going into last season, but only 
                Houston has made any strides towards the playoffs. San Diego has 
                gotten worse, and has further confused their quarterback situation 
                by drafting the NFL’s newest malcontent, Philip Rivers, who sat 
                out much of training camp because his agent told him he was special. 
                Good move, Philip, that kind of attitude is really going to turn 
                this franchise around.
 
 The Chargers have really been hurt by the draft in recent years, 
                other than picking up Superstud LaDainian Tomlinson, who is the 
                future of the franchise. Against the Texans, he can pile up points, 
                but the Chargers will probably not get a win. It’s just a matter 
                of trends. The morale in Houston couldn’t be much higher, and 
                the morale in San Diego couldn’t get much lower. WR Kevin Dyson, 
                who looked like he might fit into the offense, was cut, leaving 
                a wealth of inexperience and question marks at the receiver positions. 
                And while Drew Brees got the starting nod from the coaching staff, 
                but he’s not getting it from me. Other than Tomlinson and TE Antonio 
                Gates, the only players you should have starting for the Chargers 
                is LB Donnie Edwards, at least until other leading tacklers emerge.
 
 The Texans have several players this year that are prepared for 
                big seasons, including QB David Carr, RB Domanick Davis and WR 
                Andre Johnson. Although WR Corey Bradford fell on a lot of cheatsheets 
                before the draft, this is one game to play him if you managed 
                to pick him up somewhere in the later rounds. I’m still not convinced 
                that Jabar Gaffney is all that great, but he’’s worth a look if 
                you are really strapped at receiver. On defense, there’s lots 
                of talent, with Jamie sharper heading up the list. He’s a stud 
                LB and a must-play each and every week. I had him last year and 
                he was the anchor to my defense, which was consistent all year, 
                won me plenty of games and was instrumental in winning my league 
                championship. There’s also LBs Jay Foreman and Kailee Wong as 
                well as DB Marcus Coleman. They are all good defensive plays this 
                week.
 
 Final Score: Houston 27 San 
                Diego 17  Tampa Bay (+2.5) at Washington, 
                1:00 pmThere are high expectations for both these teams heading into 
                2004. The Skins should be pretty good, adding veteran QB Mark 
                Brunell and superstar RB Clinton Portis — probably the best back 
                in football. While Brunell is old and never fully reached his 
                potential in Jacksonville, Rich Gannon was in a similar situation 
                when he went to KC and then Oakland, where he found his groove 
                in systems that suited his style.
 
 The Bucs are coming off a very disappointing season, but have 
                new GM and don’t have to listen to Warren Sapp’s chatty yap any 
                more. While the fat bastard was a dominating presence on the D-line 
                and an occasional goal line tackle-eligible receiver on offense, 
                he could have been more of a distraction last year than anything. 
                Backup DL Anthony McFarland has been waiting his turn for some 
                time now, and should produce. Brad Johnson can still lead this 
                offense, but Washington has made great strides to improve its 
                line pressure and use more blitzes from its secondary with rookie 
                FS Sean Taylor, a 6’0”, 231-pound beast out of Miami in the Steve 
                Atwater mold. This will not be Brad Johnson’s best game this year, 
                and will probably be one of his worst. I wouldn’t anticipate too 
                much from the Bucs running backs — who are ALL overrated. The 
                Skins defensive line has added Cornelius Griffin and Philip Daniels, 
                two veteran lineman with run stopping capability. For owners worried 
                about Washington’s offensive production — don’t. Even against 
                the Bucs, Portis will be solid, Brunell will be surprisingly productive 
                and WR Rod Gardner will return to his 2002 form. Even Darnerian 
                McCants might get some more throws his way, although the red zone 
                is his favorite stomping ground. The only question mark is Laveranues 
                Coles, who has been battling a toe injury since last year. Coles, 
                a five-year veteran, is used to pain and should still produce.
 
 Final Score: Redskins 17, Bucs 
                14  Detroit at Chicago, 1:00 
                pmI wish I could just write another limerick and be done with this 
                one. Wait, maybe I will.
 
 A fantasy owner from Chi-town,
 Got stuck in the draft in the third round.
 He took the A-train,
 but to his disdain
 Thomas Jones got the ball and scored touchdowns.
 
 The Lions have the makings of a surprise team in 2004, and a Week 
                1 matchup in Chicago might just be the emotional boost this team 
                needs to turn their losing ways around. Joey Harrington is a solid 
                young QB and now he has some receivers to complement his talent. 
                Charles Rogers, Tai Streets and even rookie Roy Williams are all 
                worthy of being on fantasy rosters this year and both Rogers and 
                Streets are safe plays against the Jets. Stay tuned to see how 
                much Az-Zahir Hakim plays a role in this offense, but if you’re 
                looking for a wild card WR that might produce, look his way. Kevin 
                Jones is the big-time back Detroit has needed since Barry Sanders 
                retired, should get 1,000 yards this year if he stays healthy, 
                and is a smart play against a largely useless defensive unit.
 
 The Bears just don’t scare me anymore, and I wouldn’t want to 
                own any of them on my fantasy team this year. I know everybody’s 
                high on Thomas Jones, but it’s not like the guy has been producing 
                over the past few years. In fantasy circles, he’s drawn comparisons 
                to Garrison Hearst, but Hearst’s career turned around when he 
                joined the 49ers, who at the time were a good football team. I 
                don’t like Grossman, wouldn’t be caught dead with him as my QB, 
                and don’t like his matchup against a good secondary in Detroit. 
                The receiving situation is anybody’s guess, and while I like David 
                Terrell the best, it’s only because of his potential. Justin Gage 
                is the safest play at WR.
 
 
 Final Score: Lions 20 Bears 
                13  Oakland (+4) at Pittsburgh, 
                1:00 pmThe Oakland Raiders and the Pittsburgh Steelers have a long rivalry 
                that goes back to the days of John Madden and Chuck Noll, Ken 
                Stabler and Terry Bradshaw. With both teams looking to reestablish 
                themselves as AFC contenders, this game might set the tone for 
                the first half — even all — of the 2004 season. While the Steelers 
                stood pat on defense — still their forte — the Raiders went out 
                and got a couple of fat guys — Warren Sapp and Ted Washington 
                — to strengthen their woeful run defense.
 
 The Raiders have hired head coach Norv Turner, shed Charlie Garner 
                and will use Tyrone Wheatley as their primary back this year. 
                Wheatley is a fast, power back with good instincts and lots of 
                experience. He fits with Turner’s offensive style and may even 
                start the season off with a 100-yard game. Rich Gannon has reached 
                a mid-life crisis, while backup Kerry Collins is probably on the 
                verge of both an emotional meltdown and alcoholic relapse — events 
                that I am sure will coincide at some point this season. It also 
                remains to be seen if WR Jerry Porter can handle the burden of 
                being Oakland’s go-to-guy. Jerry Rice is well into the fossilization 
                process but other than Porter, he still provides the most potential 
                from a fantasy perspective.
 
 The Steelers didn’t do much to improve their defense, but at least 
                east nobody got shot in the ass this year, putting them one-up 
                on the 2003 season already. Pittsburgh did make some key changes 
                on offense, however, adding Duce Staley to the backfield. Staley 
                played well near the end of the season last year and seems rejuvenated 
                in the Steel City, which could really use a receiving threat out 
                of the backfield to complement their solid corps of wideouts. 
                Hines Ward, Plaxico Burress and Antwaan Randle El are most productive 
                threesome since Melissa Etheridge, Tammy Lynn Michaels and David 
                Crosby. I anticipate lots of scoring, as big plays from the Steelers 
                receivers will make the difference and break the game open against 
                the overrated Raiders secondary.
 
 Final Score: Steelers 34, Raiders 
                19  Seattle (-2) at New 
                Orleans, 1:00 pmOne of the better matchups this weekend, and not just because 
                it will be a battle between two top five running backs. Seattle 
                is everybody’s favorite to win the NFC West, but the Saints have 
                a shot at a wild card this year, and a win against the Seahawks 
                would get them off to a wonderful start.
 
 The Seahawks have an offense with some of fantasy football’s best 
                options at the skill positions. Matt Hasselbeck, Shaun Alexander, 
                Koren Robinson and Darrell Jackson are great stat producers that 
                should be in the fantasy lineup every week. The offense even boasts 
                two tight ends that are capable of putting up decent numbers week-to-week. 
                The only major problem with the Seahawks defense is the injury 
                to LB Chad Brown, who will miss all of this month. That means 
                Anthony Simmons should have a boatload of tackles this week, and 
                puts additional pressure on the secondary. Play Seahawks D-backs 
                if you’ve got any.
 
 The Saints have an aging defensive unit that missed a lot of tackles 
                last year, lending to big fantasy points on other end. It also 
                means that when they fall behind, Deuce McAllister catches tons 
                of balls out of the backfield. He could emerge as the best fantasy 
                running back this season. While QB Aaron Brooks is capable of 
                putting up gaudy numbers each week and doesn’t throw too many 
                picks, he has been inconsistent handling the football and lost 
                11 fumbles last year. I expect a good game from him against Seattle, 
                but wouldn’t play him against strong pass rush/secondary combinations. 
                At WR, Joe Horn is always a gamer and Donté Stallworth is ready 
                to perform in a gamebreaker capacity after a couple of disappointing 
                seasons. TE Eddie “Boo” Williams is fast emerging as one of the 
                best fantasy tight ends in football and is a big play threat.
 
 Final Score: Seattle 31, Saints 
                28  Tennessee (-3) at Miami, 
                1:00 pmUnfortunately for the Dolphins, their city’s abbreviation — MIA 
                — has taken on a whole new meaning with the unexpected retirement 
                of Ricky Williams. The guy was a apparently smoking spliffs and 
                eating God knows how many different hallucinogens in Jamaica with 
                Ziggy Marley when he decided to cut his dreads off under a waterfall 
                (good move) and hang up his spikes (bad move). Why couldn’t this 
                guy just read Peter Mathiessen’s The Snow Leopard like everybody 
                else and just pretend to gain spirituality? And where’s P. Diddy 
                to bring this guy back to reality when you need him?
 
 The Titans must be chomping at the bit to flaunt new starter Chris 
                Brown in a regular season game. He’s got moves, can run faster 
                than ten miles an hour (a feat that sometimes challenged Eddie 
                George) and looks ready to assume the responsibility that his 
                predecessor had of perennially leading his team into the playoffs 
                with an efficient, hard-hitting running game. Steve McNair and 
                Derrick Mason have better chemistry than Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, 
                and they’ll need it this week as the Titans will be without WR 
                Tyrone Calico and the Dolphins still have a solid, talented secondary 
                with lots of experience. Kicker Joe Nedney, who I happened to 
                draft on Sunday, got hurt in practice this week and is probably 
                lost for the season.
 
 The Dolphins have been searching for a starting halfback all of 
                training camp, and traded for Rams RB Lamar Gordon, who was the 
                odd man out in that backfield. It remains to be seen if the Dolphins 
                can use Gordon, Travis Minor, or Sammy Morris effectively, as 
                even The Artist Formerly Known As Dreadlocks had problems finding 
                holes in Miami last year. Jay Fielder’s still the starter at QB, 
                but one that provides little fantasy value, especially playing 
                Tennessee, a defense that is particularly strong against the pass. 
                Playing WR Chris Chambers is always an option, but I would stay 
                away from predatory mammal - turned aquatic mammal Marty Booker 
                until he proves to be part of the offensive plan.
 
 Final Score: Titans 24 Dolphins 
                10  Atlanta (-3.5) at San 
                Francisco, 4:15 pmHippies and other folky types used to sing “Where have all the 
                flowers gone?” in San Francisco in the 1960s. Now everybody’s 
                wondering what happened to their beloved 49ers. With Owens, Hearst 
                and Garcia gone, the team looks a lot different. Atlanta’s only 
                problem is not knowing what to expect from half the guys they 
                are playing against.
 
 The 49ers will introduce the Falcons, however, to RB Kevan Barlow 
                very quickly. With Keith Brooking questionable, the Falcons will 
                have problems stopping Barlow. WR Brandon Lloyd will be their 
                next option, and if the Falcons double Lloyd or load up against 
                the run, WRs Cedrick Wilson and veteran Curtis Conway will beat 
                them deep. On defense, look from good numbers from LB Julian Peterson, 
                LB Derek Smith and DB Tony Parrish. I have a feeling people will 
                be surprised by the 49ers on Sunday.
 
 The Falcons, and must-play (yes, even with the bad hammy) QB Mike 
                Vick, will look early and often to RB Warrick Dunn and WR Peerless 
                Price, but will also run a bit on his own. It’s in his blood. 
                I’m not really big on T.J. Duckett, who has shown potential, but 
                should be the feature back in a different system. Dez White put 
                up numbers in Chicago and should continue to do so in Atlanta, 
                unless Brian Finneran becomes a more popular target for Vick. 
                On defense, I like DL Patrick Kerney and LB Chris Draft.
 
 Final Score: 49ers 23, Falcons 
                21  N.Y. Giants (+8.5) at 
                Philadelphia, 4:15 pmThere’s a lot of excitement in New York about the Giants’ fantasy 
                football hopes this year. No one is more excited than me, because 
                I just ignore Giants and look elsewhere for fantasy production, 
                while all the Giant fans in my league try to figure out if Tiki 
                Barber is going to fumble or if Ron Dayne is no longer a fat turd 
                who gets no carries. Kurt Warner or Eli Manning? Who cares? Neither 
                will lead this team to the playoffs anyway. In Philadelphia, there’s 
                lots of excitement, too, but it’s for Terrell Owens, who whined 
                just enough to get traded to a Super Bowl contender.
 
 The Giants are faced with lots of options on offense, including 
                Barber, Jeremy Shockey, Amani Toomer, Ike Hilliard and of course 
                Dayne, who I would avoid like a lactose intolerant senior citizen 
                with a fridge full of rotten milk. Barber’s carrying the football 
                like a retarded kid clutching his “blankee”, but whether or not 
                that will help or hinder his overall fantasy production remains 
                to be seen. I can see Barber having a good day, but I don’t see 
                him getting into the endzone. Toomer and Hilliard will rack up 
                points if the Giants fall behind, like they always do, but don’t 
                count on big games from either. If you’ve got other options, explore 
                them. On defense, there’s a lot of new faces at linebacker, but 
                bank on Carlos Emmons and Barrett Green making some tackles. Third-year 
                linebacker Nick Greisen was a little dinged during training camp 
                with a strained hammy, so stay away until he proves he can play 
                every down.
 
 The Eagles have a short list of solid fantasy producers, including 
                Donovan McNabb, RB Brian Westbrook and Owens. Freddie Mitchell 
                and Todd Pinkston have potential to contribute, but the overall 
                effect of T.O. will begin to tell the tale after Week 1. All the 
                receivers were useless last year, so I can’t see Owens having 
                too much of a negative effect. L.J. Smith looks like the new go-to-TE, 
                replacing Chad Lewis as the starter. On defense, there seems to 
                be anew guy putting up stats each week, so I favor DB Brian Dawkins 
                and former Titan DL Jevon Kearse, who is out to prove himself 
                all over again.
 
 Final Score: Eagles 31, Giants 
                13  Dallas (+4.5) at Minnesota, 
                4:15 pmThe Cowboys have started a trend in recent years of looking REALLY 
                horrible the first game of the season. As a Cowboy fan, I’m hoping 
                that trend ends abruptly on Sunday. But I’m also hoping to get 
                some kind of fantasy production from at least one of the Cowboys 
                that I drafted, and after looking at my roster on 11:30 p.m. this 
                past Sunday night, I was thinking I may have drafted too many. 
                Other than Daunte Culpepper and Randy Moss, the Vikings have some 
                question marks with answers that will start to emerge in Week 
                1 as well.
 
 The Cowboys best fantasy player in 2004 will most likely be DB 
                Roy Williams, who is in on almost every play. On offense, Vinny 
                Testaverde might be a decent backup for some fantasy teams, but 
                I don’t project him to be a starter, and definitely not this week. 
                Julius Jones will get most of the carries this and every other 
                week, but a top ten running back he is not. Eddie George is only 
                an option if something happens to Jones, or if Bill Parcells has 
                been using the rookie as a decoy through all of training camp 
                (which is unlikely). I think Keyshawn Johnson might catch around 
                80-90 balls this year, but whether that will translate into lots 
                of yardage and — most importantly — touchdowns, remains to be 
                seen. He will have more than one, however, and the first might 
                come on Sunday. I’m not crazy about TE Jason Witten yet, but I 
                would have drafted him if he made it to the last couple rounds.
 
 The Vikings have a studly QB, a studly WR, but weirdness at RB 
                and confusion on defense. LBs Chris Claiborne and E.J. Henderson 
                should emerge as the team’s leading tacklers, and both are great 
                IDP options as long as they are healthy. Corey Chavous and Brian 
                Russell are also options. I would tend to stay away from the running 
                back position as Dallas has a formidable run defense. WR Nate 
                Burleson is also a good option against a Dallas secondary that 
                has frequent lapses.
 
 Final Score: Vikings 24 Cowboys 
                20  Kansas City (+3) at 
                Denver, 8:30 pm Another division rivalry that will set the tone for 2004, these 
                teams match up well and always have great games. I anticipate 
                heavy doses of both Priest Holmes and Quentin Griffin, with turnovers 
                deciding who gets the W.
 
 The Chiefs are without a great #1 wide receiver but have Holmes 
                and Tony Gonzalez, a similar situation to the Chargers minus the 
                foreboding dismay. They do have a good QB in Trent Green and a 
                capable defense that might step it up a little more this year. 
                I like to stay away from Chiefs WRs, because it’s always somebody 
                new every week that gets the TD. I’m not going to change that 
                system now. On defense, Greg Wesley plays up and gets lots of 
                tackles, but can stay back and bat down passes and is a good play 
                against a team that runs a predictable offense. I also like LBs 
                Shawn Barber, Scott Fujita and Mike Maslowski as well as DB Jerome 
                Woods.
 
 The Broncos can get it done with Griffin, who should grab 100 
                and a touchdown against the Chiefs. When and if Tatum Bell joins 
                the party, RBBC will be a possibility, but the job should be Griffin’s 
                for now. Jake Plummer is one of those QBS that I can’t bring myself 
                to draft, regardless of how high football pundits are on his progress. 
                How many chances is this guy going to get with fantasy owners? 
                The game could turn into a scoring battle, which is the only reason 
                to even consider Plummer. If you don’t any better options, I feel 
                sorry for you. At WR, I still believe in Rod Smith and am anxiously 
                anticipating the true arrival of Ashley Lelie, who has boatloads 
                of potential. Stay away from the TE situation, play LB Al Wilson 
                on defense and enjoy your chicken wings.
 
 Final Score: Chiefs 38 Broncos 
                31 Green Bay (+3) at Carolina, 
                9:00 pmThis is who should have played in the NFC Championship game last 
                year. It will be an entertaining Monday Night matchup, especially 
                with everybody’s favorite lunatic Brett Favre leading the aging 
                but still hungry Packers into Carolina to play the NFC Champs. 
                The Packers have a great quarterback, but he’s absolutely nuts. 
                Favre becomes more and more unpredictable with age and is still 
                a lot of fun to watch. He’s also a decent fantasy quarterback 
                for about eight weeks of the season —the only problem is deciding 
                which eight weeks they are. Ahman Green is among the best backs 
                in the game, and has figured out how to cut down on his fumbling. 
                The Packers WRs can all produce, and I think Donald Driver and 
                Javon Walker are both good options against Carolina, which is 
                weakest in its secondary. TE Bubba Franks should also enjoy some 
                good numbers. On defense, go with Nick Barnett and Darren Sharper, 
                the safest bets to put up tackle totals. The Panthers are a better 
                team than last year, and Jake Delhomme — who is my backup quarterback 
                — leads his team a lot like Tom Brady does. He will put up admirable 
                numbers, but shouldn’t be your starter unless he matches up really 
                well against an easily-exploited secondary. I also drafted DeShaun 
                Foster, but I’m not going to play him unless resident stud RB 
                Stephen Davis goes down. Until further notice, play Davis and 
                eat your potato chips. At WR, Steve Smith broke out last year, 
                and will continue to be Delhomme’s favorite target. Muhsin Muhammed 
                is a good wideout, and may produce decent numbers against the 
                Packers, who are in trouble on the corners. Defensively, there’s 
                no harm in playing defensive lineman Mike Rucker and Julius Peppers, 
                who will get a sack or two between them. Dan Morgan’s also good 
                bet to get at least 7-10 tackles.
 
 Final Score: Panthers 23 Packers 
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