Last Week's Question: Do you have an
FF-related Excel spreadsheet to share?
"Plummer is the Billy Graham of the NFL. He can make 70,000
people say 'Jesus' in unison."
--Randy Cross
That quotation appears in the entertainment section of an elaborate
spreadsheet that I received from Gary, whose commissioner uses
Excel to archive all sorts of information (including trash-talking
write-ups) in his league. The spreadsheets I received from Gary
and Rustin were both potentially quite useful to readers (and
entertaining for me), but they included a lot of personal information
that will have to be expunged before we can post them for use
by the general public. (I blame holiday travel for my not having
had a chance to do the expunging yet, but those of you who can
read between the lines will probably figure out that my Excel
kung fu is feeble.)
I'm grateful to everyone who sent in a spreadsheet, and I hope
to get the most useful samples into shape (and posted to FFToday)
in the coming weeks. For the time being, however, I'm delighted
to be able to kick things off with the "all-play" spreadsheet
from Phil that I promised in last week's column.
 Download: All-Play spreadsheet
The primary function of this spreadsheet is to indicate what the
win/loss record of each team would be if every team in the league
played every other team in a head-to-head match every week.
My hat is off to Phil, who took the time to revise and expand
his spreadsheet to make it useful to as wide an audience as possible.
He also added clear instructions on the first two tabs and modified
the spreadsheet his league uses so that it now "handles ties
[and includes] pre-made templates for leagues from 6 to 16 teams."
Those in leagues with an odd number of teams (or more than 18
teams) will have to adapt the spreadsheet on their own, as Phil
has already donated more time, energy, and expertise to this project
than anyone could reasonably have expected.
Perhaps the niftiest thing about Phil's spreadsheet is the "what-if?"
feature, which allows each owner in a league to see what his/her
record would be if s/he had the schedule of any other owner.
Phil is pretty handy with Excel, but he's not a fan of re-inventing
the wheel. His league didn't need to design a spreadsheet for
a live auction draft because they found
one on a website dedicated to fantasy baseball and adapted
it to their purposes:
Phil also let me know about a spreadsheet-like tool for scheduling
available for free at footballguys.com. His league-hosting service
doesn't support his preferred schedule format ("where division
opponents play each other in the first and last weeks of the season
to avoid byes"), so they have long relied on one of the 157
schedule generators available
here.
As I mentioned above, I hope to make more spreadsheets available
as the season winds down. If you've designed an FF-related spreadsheet
that you think would be generally useful, please follow Phil's
lead by sending in the
best version possible. The clearer your instructions (and
the cleaner the cells), the sooner I'll be able to share it with
the FFToday community.
This Week's Question: Do you have an
empty spot in your hybrid FF league in 2015?
I regard a certain 48-team mega-league as my true home in fantasy
football because it's where I started playing FF back in the '90s.
It features 4 conferences of 12 teams each, and my conference was
so strong this year that it will be sending 8 teams to the playoffs.
I finished third in total scoring, but I won't be advancing to the
postseason. The scheduling gods saw to it that despite outscoring
nine of the teams in my conference, I finished ninth in the standings.
Woe is me.
I'm very bitter this week. Mind you, I'm not bitter enough to leave
my league because the H2H format remains fun for me even when I
get screwed by it. However, I can't help wondering how much fun
I would have with any of the myriad hybrids of H2H scoring that
have been discussed in this column over the years.
I would like to get some firsthand experience with one or two (at
most, three) of the more esoteric hybrid formats designed to reduce
the luck factor in H2H leagues (without abandoning the H2H component
completely). I think it might be useful for me to compare and contrast
some of the crazy models you folks come up with based on playing
in the actual leagues (rather than simply opining on whatever sounds
appealing/off-putting about them based on written descriptions).
So if your league uses a scoring model that you think strikes just
the right balance between the excitement of an H2H league and the
fairness of a "total points" approach, I wonder if there's
room for me in 2015 (either as a participant or an observer).
I made the mistake of joining way too many fantasy leagues once
upon a time, and it nearly burned me out on fantasy sports once
and for all--so I won't necessarily be able to accept every invitation
I might receive. But I am interested in judging the "fun factor"
of FF models that are new to me.
Accordingly, if you anticipate having a free spot in your league
in 2015 and you wouldn't mind having me write about what is most
satisfying/irritating about your scoring system, please send
me a brief explanation of what makes your variation on the H2H
model superior.
If you're especially proud of your scoring system but won't have
an opening in 2015, then perhaps you can assign me to monitor a
particular owner's team (so that I know which squad to get excited/depressed
about).
I would also like to hear
from any readers who (like me) are interested in trying a hybrid
model with which they are unfamiliar. If I can scrape together a
group of 10 to 14 readers (especially those whom I've come to know
over the years as upstanding citizens in the FF community--and not
just manufactured internet personas), then perhaps we could make
an experimental league of the same owners using the same sets of
players to test out several different scoring models simultaneously.
If there's enough interest in this sort of thing, I might be able
to persuade some of the other staff members at FFToday to participate,
but I won't bother them with this proposal until I have more information.
Restrictions:
1) If the drafts must be conducted in person, then I can only guarantee
my availability if your league is headquartered in the vicinity
of Austin, TX.
2) If the drafts are conducted online, then whatever programs I
need to install to participate will need to be pretty self-explanatory.
3) If your model stresses a keeper/dynasty component, then the team
that I would be taking over must be competitive in the first year
of ownership. I'm not promising to stick around for a 3-year rebuilding
project. If it's a new league with a keeper/dynasty component, just
bear in mind that I won't be able to comment on how much that component
contributes to the experience.
4) I don't mind paying a modest entry fee, but I'm not going to
start mailing checks to random strangers who send me emails. Be
prepared for some background checking on my part.
5) I'm flexible about punitive rules, but not infinitely flexible.
If the loser of a division in your league has to take a selfie while
picking his nose in front of a crowd, I might do it. If I have to
get a tattoo that says "Loser" on my left butt cheek,
I won't.
Survivor Picks - Week 13 (Courtesy of
Matthew Schiff)
Trap Game: New York Giants at Jacksonville
The Jaguars seem to be in a private competition with the Raiders
for recognition as "Patsies of the Year" for survivor
pools. Consequently, the hard-luck Giants are probably thinking,
"Thank goodness we have an easy game!" However, the G-Men
have a tendency to play down to the level of their competition.
They can't afford to take that approach against a Jaguars team that
will stretch New York’s beleaguered secondary. For the Giants
to win this game, they will have to feed Jacksonville a healthy
serving of Rashad Jennings. If he can get over 100 yards on the
ground and 30 in the air, they win. But since the play of their
o-line has been so erratic, those numbers may be more difficult
to achieve than most fans think. Despite the fact that Jaguar opponents
have been a good choice in survivor pools almost every week this
season, take the Giants only if you absolutely have none of the
choices below available.
#3: St. Louis over Oakland (11-1: PIT, NO,
CIN, SF, CLE, SD, NE, KC, SEA, DEN, GB, PHL)
On Sunday, the Rams host a Raiders team that shocked the Chiefs
last Thursday night. So why pick the Rams to do what Kansas City
didn’t when so much else could distract them? Call it my “Show
me” pick, which is appropriate for the Missouri setting. Make
no mistake, I love that Oakland finally won a game. But this team
must duplicate the effort and the luck of last week’s game.
The Rams saw what Oakland needs to do to achieve a victory. And
since it’s always harder a second time when you’ve put
your blueprint for success on film, I say, “Show me that the
Raiders are for real in 2014."
#2: Houston over Tennessee (7-5: CHI, Sea,
NO, TB, DET, Den, CLE, MIA, KC, BAL, SF, GB)
The Texans were expected to be better than they are. At 5-6, they
still have a chance at a wild card spot in spite of injuries and
a lackluster offense. Ryan Fitzpatrick is back under center this
week after a season-ending injury to Ryan Mallet. While Arian Foster
may be a game-time decision and a bunch of second stringers will
have to step up on offense, it really is the Houston defense that
should be the difference. Tennessee's offense hardly scares anyone
as it is only nominally in the same league as the Texan defense.
Houston should enjoy their own version of a belated Thanksgiving
feast.
Image by Tilt Creative (Ty
Schiff)
#1: Detroit over Chicago (9-3: PHI, DEN,
NE, SD, GB, SEA, BAL, DAL, CIN, AZ, WAS, IND):
A juicy matchup on Thanksgiving! What more could you ask for in
your survival pool this late in the season? The Chicago Bears
and their injury-ravaged, 30th-ranked defense are offered up as
the first course in this weekend’s NFL feast when they visit
Detroit on Thursday afternoon. Matthew Stafford should have Megatron
and Golden Tate available, and the only person upset about this
matchup is Reggie Bush, who won’t play due to injury. Look
for the Lions to pad their stats on both sides of the ball as
they try to keep pace with Green Bay in the NFC North race. And
oh by the way, yes this is the dreaded divisional game, but too
much is at stake (on national TV, no less!) for the Lions not
to win this one.
Mike Davis has been writing about fantasy football since 1999.
As a landlocked Oklahoman who longs for the sound of ocean waves,
he also writes about ocean colonization under the pen name Studio
Dongo. The latest installment in his science fiction series can
be found here.
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