Start 'Em:
Quarterbacks Who Will Outperform Relative
To Their Draft Position And Recent Hype
J.T. O'Sullivan
@ NO
Another Martzian creation, former NFL Europa MVP(!) Sully is completing
well north of sixty percent of his passes for a stellar 104.6
QB rating. He’ll produce good numbers this against the Saints
despite already being sacked 13 times. Play him while he’s still
vertical as a great bye week filler for Peyton Manning.
Trent Edwards @ STL
Edwards will take advantage of a Rams pass D best described as
“under-achieving” or possibly just “craptacular.” Ignore the loss
of wideout Roscoe Parrish—Edwards did. The Bills might lean on
their running game, but even with conservative QB play-calling
Edwards will post low QB#1 numbers.
Jason Campbell @ DAL
Last week I suggested that Jason Campbell might never be a good
WCO QB using an old Greek paradox empirically proven day in and
day out to be wrong. This week, in the interest of never making
the same mistake twice and always finding new and more mind-boggling
ways to screw up, I’m firmly calling Mr. Campbell to put
up a top 12 score based on the cold hard data from his last two
good games (averaging 20 ff points). The Cowboys are weaker against
the passing game, and this should be another 20-point weekend.
Derek Anderson @ CIN
The mighty Quinn is breathing down Anderson’s neck and he
just lost guard Eric Steinbach. There’s no underestimating
imminent job loss as a motivator, and last year’s breakout
star has just this game to resuscitate a rapidly flat-lining season.
Plus, he’s beat the Bengals like a rented mule in the not-so-distant
past. Starting him will be licking honey off a razor blade.
Jake Delhomme v. ATL
He hasn’t shown yet this season, but the Ragin’ Cajun is capable
of putting up great numbers with Steve Smith running routes. The
Panthers will be carrying (transporting? conveying? perambulating?)
the ball against a suspect Falcons line but Delhomme will find
Smith down the sidelines for a score or two.
Brian Griese v. GB
I was going to make an argument for Kerry Collins here, marshaling
a dizzying array of figures and insightful psychological calculations
into one kick-ass rhetorical masterpiece, but I opted to go with
the other former drunk reclamation project instead, the one who
actually played quite well last Sunday. The Packers will miss
Al Harris, out with a ruptured spleen (right down there with the
appendix as one of the least useful organs).
Bench 'Em:
Quarterbacks Who Will Under Perform
Relative To Their Draft Position And Recent Hype
Trent Green v. BUF
You picked him up off the waiver wire with visions of 2005 dancing
in your head. He’s not the same player and he’s just
one hit from making the dude in “The Diving Bell and The
Butterfly” look like Usain Bolt. The Bills are pretty good
too.
Kyle Orton v. PHI
The Iggles pass rush will destroy Kyle “Got a Beard, Don’t Be
Skeered…Just a Beard” Orton. Yes, he had a good game against the
Bucs, but no matter how much the bye week hurts, don’t start him.
If you’ve got Matt Ryan, start him instead.
Carson Palmer v. CLE
Two QBs go into this game looking for redemption, but only one
will emerge triumphant, and my money’s on Anderson. 85 is
clearly hurting and despite the dubious playcalling of Crennel,
the Browns might have enough to pull this out. If not them, the
other guys.
Ben Roethlisberger v. BAL
Ben’s big enough to withstand a lot of punishment but the
sacks have taken their toll. This will probably be a low-scoring
affair decided by two good defenses. Ben is not likely to play
like the QB#1 you drafted.
Matt Schaub @ JAX
One good game, one bad game—the pattern says this week should
be a good one, especially since the bad one last week came against
the ferocious Titans. Jacksonville has a serviceable defense.
If Johnson stops dropping TDs, this could be a very bad call.
Running Backs
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