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FF In The Groin
Week 9
11/15/05

The top stat producers are littered with guys pulled off the waiver wire. It’s getting Gad-iculous!

Groin Shot of the Week Candidates

Roy Williams (7-117, 3 TD) – No, not the guy who caught the late, what was McNabb thinking on that pass, interception that claimed victory from the jaws of defeat Monday night for the Cowboys. The other guy. That receiver guy. Oh, you remember, he was drafted with all the promise of a next-stud WR back in August. The guy who owns him in your league is probably hovering around .500 or worse, depending just how much he bought into “the Lions are one of the most talented offenses” shtick during preseason.

Well, finally healthy and a Joey Harrington feud perhaps behind him, Williams hauls in 3 TDs and a buck-seventeen in yardage to finish as the top receiver this week. It would seem he was surprised he found the end zone though as the best TD celebration he could come up with was copying the Steve Smith pose from over a month ago. Heck Roy, we are all surprised, but if you haven’t got new material just hand the ball to the referee. That one always draws praise and gives us some hint this might start to be a more frequent occurrence.

Samkon Gado (108 Yd, 3 TD) - Oh my Gado! The Packers roll out their 5th starting RB of the year (admittedly, ReShard Lee starting was such a blip in time it should barely count as a full share), and it is once again time to crank up the fantasy hype machine! Nigerian-born Gado played for Division I-AA Liberty, and in 9 games as a senior he carried 138 times for 901 yards and a team high 11 TDs. Well give me Liberty or give me the Packers, possibly the best 1-7 (now 2-7) team ever. They knock off the heavily favored Falcons, in Atlanta, and Gadzilla finds the end zone three times. Next up is the not so stellar Vikings run defense on Monday night. While a repeat performance is certainly possibly, we may in fact break the fantasy hype machine at that point. El Gado!

Minnesota Vikings Defense-Special Teams (INT return TD, kickoff return TD, punt return TD) – Oh yeah, plus 5 turnovers and a couple of sacks to top it off. This had to be some kind of fantasy defense record, assuming you include special team returns in your scoring. I almost didn’t put them up here because there were a lot of other solid candidates this week, but 3 TDs is so above and beyond the norm they deserve the praise. Now, anyone start these guys?

Groin Candidate Honorable Mentions

There were a lot of great candidates this week. The weekly stats for RB in particular are a who’s-who of waiver wire wonder kids.

Shaun Alexander - Keeps on truckin’... until I face you in the playoffs, please.

Greg Jones - First Jaguar other than Fred Taylor to record 100 yards rushing in a game since December 20, 2001. Other Jaguar 100 yard rushers include James Stewart and Stacey Mack. Remember when James Stewart scored 5 TDs in a game back in ’99? Hands down Groin Candidate winner that week.

Mike Alstott - Those were some nice Larry Johnson impressions.

Adrian Peterson - For the last time, no, I don’t know why the Bears spent such a high draft pick on a RB!

Chris Simms - I admit, I may be wrong about you. Maybe.

Joey Galloway - I don’t think Joey has made the candidate list once this year, but he is certainly in the running for a season ending award. Just keeps producing every single week.

Lee Evans - Thank you Lee for preventing the Bills from losing 3-0!

Matt Jones - When a 6’6”, 240 lb. guy is booting it downfield and creating separation from defenders with his sub-4.4 speed, it was only a matter of time before Byron Leftwich started getting him the ball more.

Groin Mail

Mike, I faced the worst team in the league this week but 3 Samkon Gado TDs later, I don’t like my chances heading into Monday night. Meanwhile, as a Vikings fan, I'm supposed to celebrate a win that featured 137 total yards of offense, a third of that coming on the final drive? I'm going to take up knitting.

- Steve

I’m going to try woodworking myself, Steve. Of course maybe I shouldn’t be using any sharp tools until fantasy season is officially over.

I have never done this before, but somehow I just had to let someone know about what happened to my team this week. I would like to nominate Gus Frerotte for Groin Shot of the Week. Not that he put up the best numbers of anyone, but because I was playing a team that my wife had taken over a couple of weeks ago when the owner dropped out (record 2-7). She had to make a free agent move at QB due to injury. The pickings were pretty slim, so she settled for “In Gus We Trust”. I knew the Pats secondary was in shambles, but come on, this was the guy who head-butted a wall and has barely been hanging on to his starting job, so I was not too worried. Well you know the rest. There cannot be many worse things in life than losing to your wife in Fantasy Football and having the rest of the league let you know about it. This loss could keep me from winning my division! Keep up the great work.

- Jeff

Now we all know Jeff. Was I not supposed to publish this email? In my best Nelson Muntz voice: “Ha ha!” (Seriously though, never put yourself in a position where you have to play against the wife in fantasy football. Next time put the family goldfish in charge of the defunct team.)

Comments From The Couch

  • You know it is a tough league when head coaches are falling left and right due to injury. We already have Mike Martz on injured reserve, out for the season. Brian Billick was questionable this week with broken ribs and now Mike Tice looks to have a strained MCL. Adding insult to injury, anyone think any of these guys will be employed as head coaches next year? Better get treatment right away before the benefits are cut off.

  • No joke needed. This 60 minute stat line pretty much speaks for itself... Cody Pickett: 1 completion on 13 attempts for 28 yards, 1 INT.

  • From the San Jose Mercury News, Head Coach Mike Nolan, "finally admits Niners not ready to win the West." In other news, it's windy in Chicago. Just ask Robbie Gould, who had one FG attempt apparently travel further wide right than it did towards the goal post.

  • Even though I've watched the Nathan Vasher 108 yard TD return about a half dozen times now, I still can't believe that first wave of 49ers missed him on the spin move. Best way to describe those guys is they lumber down the field, but spread out for Gado sakes!

  • Although there are no sure things in fantasy football, this is close to money in the bank... Mike Krueger does the weekly FF Today player projections. Invariably one is especially outside the box. This past week, Lee Evans projected as a top 5 receiver this week (6-90, 1 TD), far exceeding any of Evans' prior week performances. Krueger gets called out on the forums about how lousy the projections are. Bing-bang-boom, Evans goes off to the tune of 66 yards, 2 TD and lands in the top 5. This has been happening all year. Props to Mike's crystal noggin' ... er, I mean crystal ball, and the call out person each week too.

  • A week ago, Michael Vick indicated he is tired of the criticism he receives as a non-conventional QB, even when they are winning ball games. After dropping a home game to a 1 win team, brace yourself Mike, because here comes that wave of critique once again.

  • We can be pretty sure Gruden should not get identical praise as Dick Vermeil received the week before for going for the win in the final seconds instead of settling for the tie. He in fact went for the tie, the kicker bunged it up, and got lucky on the penalty call bringing them a yard closer. But hey, you know what they say. You have to be good to be lucky, and lucky to be good.

  • In our FF Today staff league the average score hovers around 120. I beat Krueger this week 174-170. Woo-hoo! Now let's see if he edits this out...

  • Can the Colts go 16-0? Well, putting on my psychologists hat on for a minute (as I do many minutes in a day), might I suggest it better for their Super Bowl aspirations that they do not go 16-0. There was a lot of hype (a.k.a. distraction) last year about the TD passing record which meant nothing come playoff time. This could turn out to be very similar. It couldn't hurt to feel a little bit vulnerable so as not to take another team for granted, even when they do have home field advantage.

  • At least the Rams big guns - Bulger, Holt and Bruce - were back in the fold this week. Definitely the timing was off but it will come. Why are they faking a FG early in a 3-0 game on the road? Is Martz back too?

  • For the individual defensive players in the crowd, there were some unbelievable high scores this week on the defensive side. In one league I started Mike Peterson, London Fletcher, Cato June and Will Witherspoon at LB for what had to be a league record for one week scoring at that position. Simeon Rice, Nick Barnett, Demorrio Williams, Darren Sharper and Darrent Williams among others were also off the charts in fantasy scoring this week.

  • Yeah, yeah, yeah... Losman is back in charge of the Bills offense apparently. I can't say I'm happy about it honestly. The first TD pass to Evans was under thrown and the second was just an amazing catch by Evans. Too bad the Bills will not be facing Eric "Burnt Toast" Warfield every week. The Bills really had little business winning that game except Trent Green kept getting the white jerseys and the blue jerseys mixed up. Ah well, a win is a win and we'll take it. On the horizon, Chargers, Panthers, Broncos, Bengals and each division opponent. Yikes! Can we have last year's second half schedule back, please?

And The Winner Is…

Domo arigato, Mr. Sam Gado.

Special thanks for the FF Today Forums Geeks for all the Sam Gado nicknames and play on words. Thanks to Moose Knuckle for pointing me to the Mike Nolan story.