Marty Mornhinweg might think about wearing a disguise this week.

Groin Shot of the Week Candidates

Matt Hasselbeck
The Seahawks-Chiefs game recap indicates Hasselbeck had a "career day" Sunday, which begs the question, does that include preseason? By memory, preseason is the only time Hasselbeck has ever done anything positive of note. Well, throw away his "Mr. Preseason" nickname for this week after throwing for 360+ yards and 3 TDs. And you guys were worried about the Jeff George signing.

Atlanta Falcons D
Certainly some good performances to choose from for our Groin Shot award this week, but I'm strangely compelled to pick a team defense for the first time ever. What more could you ask for from what was very likely a waiver wire pickup. The hottest team in the NFL right now recorded 8 sacks, 4 INT, 2 FR, a shutout and 1 TD scored! Now that's some defense for you, fantasy or otherwise.

Priest Holmes
What is there to say that hasn't been said before? Well, let's see. Holmes added 3 more TDs to his season total, setting a new Chiefs record with 20. Holmes' 307 total yards was 2nd highest in Chiefs history. This was the second 100+ yard receiving, 100+ yard rushing day of his career. Apparently Holmes also drives the team bus to and from the stadium, but we can't confirm that at this time.

Comments From The Couch

• Has anyone ever seen or heard of a team declining the ball after winning the coin toss in overtime? I sure never have. I'd wager the 2000 Ravens wouldn't even do that. To make matters worse, the Lions actually held the Bears in OT to force a 52 yard FG try against the wind that the Lions were so keen to have working for them. No wait, the Lions accept a holding penalty giving the Bears another 3rd down try, which they make, and go on to win the game. It's been nice knowing you Marty, but let's not forget who hired you either, right Matt?

• Let's see here, we need some honorable mention Groin Shot candidates. So, who over the course of the season dropped William Green, Joey Galloway and Koren Robinson? Well, at least you did not start Deuce McAllister this week, right?

• I was concerned about the Chargers coming out flat against the Dolphins as they had to travel all the way across the country and play an early game. My mistake. They apparently didn't even make their flight.

• Bills LB Eddie Robinson had Chad Pennington dead to rights on a 4th and goal after the Bills had scored 10 points and were making a mild comeback. Pennington gave him a little juke though, Robinson slipped and "Crazy Legs" shuffled into the end zone to seal it. Bye bye playoff hopes for Bills fans. It was a nice run there while it lasted.

• Thomas Jones, reaching for the telephone in his kitchen, bangs his hand on the counter and breaks a bone, finishing his season. "Hello operator, my name is Thomas Jones, and I couldn't keep the Cardinals starting RB job if you branded it across my forehead."

• Anyone see the Giants long snapper fling the ball over punter Matt Allen's head? Allen might not have tracked that down if he was sitting on Michael Strahan's shoulders. Result: Texans safety. Final score: Giants lose by 2. Lovely.

• If Brett Favre just kind of accepts that fact the Packers can't win in Minnesota and Tampa Bay, which is pretty much what the commentators were eluding to covering the game, then hasn't the opposition already won the biggest part of the game - the mental part - long before kickoff?

• You've got to like a guy like Mike Sherman getting into a yelling match with Warren Sapp in a post-game confrontation. Right or wrong on the hit, everyone knows Sapp is a big loud-mouthed jerk.

• The media will be all over a QB controversy story line in St. Louis given Kurt Warner's 0-6 record and Marc Bulger's 5-0. But let's get to the root of the problem with the Rams. When a defense lets Danny Wuerffel have a good day, they really do not deserve to be in the playoffs. Of course, I could say a lot of teams right now are (were?) in contention but don't deserve to be in the playoffs.

• No ifs, ands or buts about it, rookie S Ed Reed for the Ravens is a playmaker. The guy seems to have a sixth sense for being in the right place at the right time. Uncanny.

• Entering the game having missed 5 of his prior 8 attempts, Mike Vanderjagt kicks a game tying FG from 54 yards in a snowstorm. Then he turns around the other way facing into the wind and bangs home a game winning 51 yard FG. This guy is cool. Pun certainly intended.

• The Sunday night game on ESPN typically has a pretty good pace. Last night's game was very entertaining and I was happy to stay up late watching the whole thing. Completely opposite though, the Monday night games are really getting to me. Drag in as many different personalities as they like to try to boost ratings, it won't change the fact the games are just way too long and quite frankly, boring. They pack so many commercials into the first quarter, I feel like I'm watching the home shopping network instead of a football game. If the Eagles-49ers first quarter takes over an hour tonight, I'm shutting it off.

Help Wanted
With the holidays not too far off, it is going to be tougher for me to put together my weekly FF In The Groin column. This is where you come in. You know the format, so send me your best Groin Shot candidates and Couch Comments Sunday night or early Monday morning each week. I'll compile the best ones into an article. Dry humor and sarcasm laden comments are most welcome. Keep each comment 2-3 lines in length. Include your name and where you're from. This will be especially important once the fantasy playoffs come around, which is when that unexpected Groin Shot hurts the most.

And The Winner Is...
Ok, so no one really started Matt Hasselbeck against you, right? And picking a defense, I mean, we've never done that before. Ah hell, he's going to win every other friggin' award this year. Priest Holmes is our week 12 winner.

:: comments to mike macgregor