Groin Shot of the Week Candidates
Tom Brady. Talk about value for a draft pick. Brady continued his aerial attack on the NFL, adding 410 yards and 4 TD Sunday to his already impressive totals. So where was Brady drafted in your league? Somewhere around the 14th to 18th ranked QB?

Jeff Garcia. Stomach virus? Half time intravenous? Pulled for backup Tim Rattay? Garcia's stats were the anti-Brady this week. A pitiful 84 yards and 0 TD. That was a great block on the Terrell Owens TD run Jeff, but I've never seen a fantasy league that scored points for blocking.

Lamar Smith. While Ricky Williams is living large in Miami proving the Saints misused him, is the "washed-up, one-year wonder" Lamar Smith perhaps snubbing his nose at the Dolphins? Vikings or not, 160+ yards and 2 TD is impressive and particularly painful when say, your opponent is "forced" to start him due to Ahman Green's injury or Charlie Garner's bye. Not that I would know anything about that. Argh...

Quick Hits

• Priest Holmes should get some mention for his 3 TD day, but after already scoring 4 in a game to open the season, what can I say, expectations are up and it's going to be tougher for him to crack the Groin Shot Candidate list.

• Last year the Jets informally adopted the mascot Shrek as a symbol of their ability to win games in an ugly fashion. Time for a new mascot. I'm thinking Scratchy, of Itchy and Scratchy, because they are taking beatings as bad as that cat ever has on the Simpsons.

• Paging Shaun Alexander. Shaun Alexander please come in. Where are you?

• For anyone who was playing against Troy Brown this week in a 1 point per reception scoring system, you have my sympathies.

• I looked in the dictionary under "whiff" and it said, "please refer to Titans CB Mike Echols versus Dennis Northcutt with the game on the line. Secondary source: Anyone playing against Michael Vick."

• Back in the preseason, I think every time the Vikings coaches mentioned the Randy (Moss) Ratio being the key to their offense, that was actually code for, "we haven't got a frickin' clue what we're doing."

• Primary example of the difference between a pure NFL fan and a fantasy football owner: NFL fan watches start of Bengals-Falcons game Sunday night, sees Bungals are getting clobbered, starts channel surfing and cares very little that Warrick Dunn is awarded a TD late in the game when his knees were probably down before the ball crossed the goal. Fantasy owner watches same game intently from start to finish, is muttering obscenities every time Warrick Dunn steps on the field and touches the ball, and is furious the referees failed to overturn the call.

• Oh, and to take it a step further, fantasy owner becomes so frustrated when things like this happen, he decides to channel the frustration into a weekly column about how he got screwed over on the call. Make sure to watch out for people like that. They truly are fanatics and live in heavy denial as well.

• The fantasy WR trio of Andre Davis, Donte Stallworth and Deion Branch are on fire. Someone forgot to tell these guys rookie receivers aren't supposed to do anything in their first year. I think we need to start sending a fantasy representative to the NFL rookie orientations to tell the rooks the way things are supposed to be.

• Amazingly, there have not been any "out for the season, ACL injuries" to report about top ranked fantasy players so far this year. I can't believe I just said that.

:: comments to mike macgregor