Groin Shot of the Week Candidates
Eddie George. The guy looks poor, and I mean p-o-o-r for 4 weeks, but I'm stuck with him, so I decide to let George give it the old college try one more time. 40 yards and not even a sniff of the end zone later, and I'm calling to my wife to grab the bag of ice out of the freezer. It's going to be another one of those days.

Donovan McNabb. With the Florida heat beating him down, McNabb is held in check for over 50:00 minutes until those miserable two words are muttered that send shivers up a fantasy player's spine: prevent defense. McNabb, while throwing up on the field even, more than doubles his fantasy output in no time flat. Now I feel sick.

Curtis Martin. The guy does nothing, and I mean n-o-t-h-i-n-g for 4 weeks, but for some reason my opponent who is stuck with him decides to let Martin give it the old college try one more time. 140+ yards and a TD later, more ice please!

Quick Hits

• The Steelers didn't seem to give up many 5 yard rushes last year, much less 52 all in one shot. The next time you see someone walking a little taller than usual, ask them if they drafted Deuce McAllister in their fantasy football league.

• I must have dozed off at one point Sunday because I dreamt that Keyshawn Johnson caught a 76 yard TD. Please don't wake me. This dream has been a long time coming.

• Emmitt Smith is now 234 yards from breaking Walter Payton's record after rushing for a season best 70 yards. 70 yards? Come on Emmitt, I love you and all but can we speed this up a little? I'm sitting on Troy Hambrick over here who routinely makes 10 yard gains when he touches the ball.

• How would you like to carry around a cast like Kurt Warner's, which appears to extend from the elbow down, and explain to people that you just broke your pinky finger? I thought Warner was going to club Jamie Martin with it yesterday after Martin threw an INT returned for a TD just before the half. That would have been the highlight of the Rams season.

• Think the Redskins have found their QB finally? I've got $20 that says Danny Wuerffel doesn't take another snap in a regular season NFL game again, ever.

• Don't look now but the Arizona Cardinals are getting pretty good at stopping the run and running the ball. A nice combination. Now if only they could somehow time warp the 2001 version of David Boston into this season.

• Think Jerry Porter has picked up a few things hanging around with Jerry Rice and Tim Brown?

• 80 points scored in the Raiders-Bills game. From a fantasy player's perspective, all I can say is wow. Wow.

• Clinton Portis is now the clear starting RB for the Broncos, so enjoy it while you can. As soon as his name finds it's way on the injury report for the first time, Mike Shanahan will be right back to his old tricks.

• Do you think Kelly Holcomb was playing up the limp last night every time he broke the huddle, even just a little bit? He had the fans eating out of his hands during that rally while Tim Couch was looking dazed, confused, and awfully lonely on the bench.

• Chad Pennington looked pretty good overall, but Laveranues Coles is another guy owners were waiting on to start to put up some numbers. Decent day, but he was looking at a 200 yard, 2 TD performance if not for Pennington leading him out of bounds on a couple passes. It seems my hand instinctively forms a fist every time I think about those plays.

And The Winner Is...
It's not like I didn't expect McNabb to have good stats when the day started, but to get my hopes up and then shatter them like that is really depressing. Stats through 53:42: 141 passing yards, 1 TD, 46 rushing yards. End of game stats: 230 passing yards, 2 TD, 100 rushing yards, 1 TD. I knew the Jaguars running the punt back for a TD was a sign for disaster, and sure enough it sent off a chain reaction of events that could drive a person to the nut house. Gee Donovan, I really hope you're able to hold down your Chunky Soup today... not!

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