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8/12/99
Email Commish
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In the business world great ideas are just ideas until you can get
the decision makers in the company to "buy-in" and support what
your doing. The same thing happens at home. If your a married fantasy
football maven you probably already know where I am going with this,
if your a newlywed or just starting out in our fantasy football
obsession heed my warning GET BUY-IN!
It's starts out well enough "Hey honey (or any other cute pet name
you may have). Some guys at work (never say some guys at the bar,
NEVER!) want me to join the football thing were doing." Your "honey"
generally replies "Oh that sounds nice dear." That's what my wife
sounds like, how about yours? Anyway I digress, You need to be careful
in the way that you lay the groundwork. If you start by saying this
"Hey honey some guys at work want me to spend all my free time and
$150 dollars to draft NFL football players that I don't really like
from teams that I have always rooted against and to top it off I
am going to be getting phone calls at all hours of the night fielding
trade offers for German Crowell." The response you get might sound
like this "You evil spawn of Satan what did I ever see in you...be
gone you demon I denounce you." . See what I mean, you have to get
buy-in.
I know what your saying "Commish, oh great and humble leader, how
do I go about getting my wife to let me play fantasy football."
There are two ways really, one is the O.J. Simpson approach either
hide the body really well or hire very expensive lawyers. My approach
is a bit different. I know my wife doesn't really care about football
but she likes a good looking ass as much as the next guy....er I
mean the next gal. So every once in awhile it's easy to get her
to watch "football". Put this in your notes I have found through
extensive laboratory testing that women like to watch football when
the following players are playing: Brett Favre, Dan Marino, Peyton
Manning, Jerry Rice, or Tony Gonzalez. Women don't care for football
much when they have to watch Leon Lett, Bill Romanowksi, Willie
Roaf, or Kevin Greene. Along those same lines women seem to prefer
football at different points in the game than most men. Guys like
to watch football from the time the ball is hiked until the play
is blown dead. Women seem to like football from the time the play
is blown dead until the ball is hiked to start the next play. Go
figure.
If you can't transform your wife into a football fan then maybe
you need a different approach. Another successful ploy is to just
do like every other married football man and ask for her permission.
Sure it sucks at the time but the rewards are great. If you can
swallow your pride for a day or two you can get a whole fall's worth
of enjoyment. Just say "Honey, I don't ask for much...just a little
bread, water, and dominance of the remote control. I don't say anything
when you spend all of our money on baskets and stuffed collectible
bears, could I puuuhhhhhhllleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzeee play
fantasy football with my friends?". She might even say yes.
Here are couple of other suggestions that might work:
- Pay attention to what she wants and needs every day including
the weekends (there will always be plenty of football but if
your in love there will never be enough time together.)
- Take her out to eat the week before and the week after you
fantasy football draft because she deserves it. If you spend
as much time getting ready for the draft as I do plus softball
and everything else a growing boy needs to do you owe it to
her.
- Let her know that as much as you enjoy football and want to
watch every Saturday, Sunday and Monday plus an occasional Thursday
her company and her enjoyment of the same sport would mean much
more.
Call me mushy (or something that sounds oddly close to that), a
sentimental softy but you gotta go with what got ya here.
:: comments to the
commish
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