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6/13/00
Email Commish
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So you want to be a fantasy football commissioner…or maybe you just
found out that the league voted you as the new commissioner. Either
way you're in for a world of pain and misery. Granted there are
some benefits to being the commissioner but you can really get yourself
into some pretty sticky situations.
How about some positive things first:
1. Being the commish means everybody comes to you to find out what
is going on in the league. That automatically allows you to "feel
out" the other owners to find out who is ready to trade, what players
are available and even some drafting strategy if you play your cards
right.
2. Being the commish allows you to see the stats and outcomes of
the league games before everyone else. You have no one else to blame
if the stats are late.
3. Being the commish allows you to throw around some authority when
it comes to picking locations for trading sessions, super bowl parties
and drafting parties. It also allows you to make sure that the guy
with the best cook for a wife brings the really good food!
This is but a brief sample of the benefits of being the commish.
I am the commish for life in two leagues…two leagues that you are
going to hear a lot about over the next several months. You see
I am now a regular writer here for FF Today. I must say that this
is by far the best fantasy football site on the web (your welcome
Krueger). In all seriousness there are a bevy of Internet sites
dedicated to this "sport" of fantasy football and there are many
great sites that you can find out information about your favorite
team, player, or coach.
I digress however, as I mentioned I am the commish for life for
the CCL (the Commissioner's Choice League) and the MFFL (Madison
Fantasy Football League). The CCL is a dynasty league going into
our third year of existence, we really need a new name but who has
time to give a league a proper name? The MFFL is partial keeper
league that has been going strong since 1992 with regular group
of 10 owners that has grown to as many as 16 and as few as 8. As
the commish in both of these leagues I have made my share of mistakes
and the other league members tell me that I do a pretty good job.
I hope to be able to share with you some do's and don'ts that I
have learned over the years. First the don'ts:
1. Don't steal the league money.
It's tempting I know…I mean everybody sending you checks and cash
for entry fees, hell you've got to hold onto $600-$700 bucks sometimes.
Put in the bank or spend it on the leagues trophies, software and
stats right away. Don't keep it in reach and nickel and dime it
till it's gone in January or your gonna really feel the hurt after
you get your Christmas shopping done and then you have to pay the
$500 league prize out. Don't spend the money! In fact, I do a very
meticulous accounting of all fee's and the debits and credits. I
can load it right onto the leagues web page and boom everybody knows
where the money is.
2. Don't take IOU's.
I know they are your friends but as soon as you start letting guys
pay you in installments and "next Friday when I get paid" you become
a bank not a commissioner. Trust me, if you think your gonna have
time collecting entry fees your in for a big surprise. Plus, try
to collect $150 from an owner that just had Terrell Davis blow his
ACL after losing Vinny Testaverde two weeks before. Unless, you
have the Ragu Brothers collection agency working for you it just
don't work.
3. Don't delay getting the stats out to owners.
I know that your busy but the biggest headache for a commissioner
is having owners that don't turn in line-up or turn them in late.
We cuss them behind their back, threaten to kick them out and everything
else. But you are no better if you can't get them their stats on
Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest. Set up a system and stick to
it.
4. Don't waiver on the rules. Set
your rules BEFORE the draft (preferably at the Super Bowl party)
and stick to them. Don't be a d*** about it but "rules is rules"
and if you can't stick to them no one else will. In the same vein
is…
5. Don't play favorites.
In the MFFL I am the commish but my Dad, one of my brothers and
a cousin are in the league too. In fact, I have had times when I
had two uncles in the league at the same time. The rest of the league
is made up of friends and former co-workers. Just because you love
your dad doesn't mean he gets first choice at Kurt Warner. If your
dad and brother want to trade ten minutes after the trade deadline…sorry
it's too late. I know that's cold-blooded but you have to be held
to a higher plane. YOU'RE THE COMMISH.
6. Don't be unethical.
To be a commissioner you have to have higher ethics than a Supreme
Court judge. Every free agent pick up you add is going to be questioned.
I always have a great draft but rarely win the league, you know
why. If someone else wants a player I'll generally let them have
them first. I know it's stupid but I am old fashioned that way.
I can hardly ever pull off the blockbuster trade in the MFFL anymore
because I "raped" my dad the very first year. No one trusts me anymore….that's
another don't "don't rape your dad!"
There are some Do's too:
1. Do have tons of fun.
Everyone is going to give you grief. Nothing is worse than having
a commissioner who has no sense of humor. I almost participated
in a league last year but backed out after meeting the commish.
At the Super Bowl party they invited me to attend so that I could
get in their league. Somebody made a crack about the Commish and
he went off about how much time he put in and wahhh…wahhh….wahhh.
I wanted to check his diaper. Listen, getting cracks is part of
the fun because when you get cracked just remind the owner that
he drafted Scott Mitchell last year as his starter! Whatever, please
don't be a commish if you don't have a sense of humor.
2. Do make it interesting for the other owners.
Do a newsletter. Do off-season updates. Change your re-draft league
to a one or two player keeper so that the owners have something
to do in the off-season. This year my MFFL league is going to have
the inaugural MFFL Golf Tourney prior to the draft.
3. Do get together after the season
...for a Super Bowl party and award the money to the winner
only if he shows up. For a league to be really successful you have
to contact with one another. My CCL league is purely an Internet
league. We, for the most part, have never met one another but we
e-mail each other almost every day. If we are going to be in one
another's home town we try to meet each other. There is no reason
for that except we like one another.
4. Do award prizes.
Both of my leagues give out cash but we also have a trophy, a perpetual
traveling plaque and a Toliet Bowl prize. The cash is nice but not
necessary. The trophy is a "Heisman Style" trophy that is proudly
displayed in the owners home. The traveling plaque has all the past
winner's names on it. The Toilet Bowl is an UNUSED toilet seat with
the winners name scrawled on it.
I hope you enjoyed this first article... I'll be back next week
with psychological trading tips. Stay tuned!
:: comments to the
commish
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