Each week of games is another day in the classroom for fantasy football
2001. Study and you have a chance at passing the course at the end
of the semester. Fall asleep after closing the local bars and you
will receive an "F". Here is what we learned Week 4...
Dennis Miller Needs To Go
Yeah, a lot of you are saying what took you so long dude. Listen,
we gave him the rookie year to get going. After seeing him on the
job for a couple weeks, this season, it has become obvious that
he doesn't fit. He tried the process of writing joke material early
last season and it looked staged. Then he tried to be more natural
and interject football comments. That looks staged as well. The
problem is that his football comments are worthless. If he knows
football, and all his handlers and the ABC publicity roaches say
he does, he can't expound on it intelligently. What he ends up doing
is gushing like a 10-year old in the presence of Joey, Lance, and
Company. We don't need that; we would like some intelligent commentary
about what is happening on the field. Granted, the Monday night
lineup of games hasn't led to a lot of good play. And certainly
part of the problem are the others in the booth. Dan Fouts is slower
than Tony Siragusa running a forty. Trying to work lines in with
him is like dancing with your 85-year old Grandma, and her walker,
at your cousin's wedding. In addition, Al Michaels really doesn't
need two in the booth with him. He isn't Frank Gifford. Frank needed
a ton of help. It would be surprising if Miller isn't given the
hook at the end of the season. They should probably toss Fouts out
with him but Fouts could work if the NFL is willing to stretch the
time in between plays to a full minute.
Mike Martz Has Marshall Faulk On All His
Fantasy Teams
There are three reasons that Mike Martz, coach of the St. Louis
Rams, had Marshall Faulk the most valuable player in the NFL, and
a player with a bad knee, running plays late in a meaningless game.
The first is that he has it in for the Lions. Someone in the Lions'
hierarchy has pissed him off and he was sticking it to them on Monday
night in Detroit. The second reason is that he is as dumb as a rock.
He didn't look particularly bright last year when he forced the
pass for a few weeks and ignored Faulk but his moves in the offseason
have looked great, so we will give him a pass on that. Finally,
he has Marshall Faulk on his fantasy team and needed the six points
so that the Martz Farts would get a W. Simple as that.
Minnesota Needs A New Idea
The Vikings have had a tough year in 2001. They were trounced by
the Giants - never thought I'd be writing that - in the playoffs.
Embarrassed may be an even better word. Then star running back Robert
Smith decides to retire after his best season, which leaves the
defense-lacking Vikings pressed for a running back as well. Deciding
to take a running back with their first pick, they take Michael
Bennett a man with great speed but little sense of direction. They
lose tackle Todd Steussie to Carolina and aging, overrated defensive
tackle John Randle to Seattle, during free agency. Then training
camp arrives and Korey Stringer dies. This leaves them with two
missing offensive linemen and a bad defense. You cannot win football
games if you can't control the line of scrimmage. The defense is
horrible, the running game non-existent, as Bennett can't break
tackles or make people miss - he can run but not hide. Randy Moss
looks bored and the whole world knows the game is on Daunte Culpepper's
shoulders. Dennis Green has to change things because a team that
does only one thing well is a losing team. The Vikings are a losing
team.
The Chicago Bears May Be On To Something
The first game was against Super Bowl Champion Baltimore and they
were in the game until midway through the fourth quarter when a
Shane Matthews interception and a big pass to Patrick Johnson set
up a Terry Allen touchdown for the Ravens. Game two they defeated
the Vikings, which was their second playoff team in a row. After
a bye week, they smacked the Falcons. Now to allow some truth to
the story, it was a 10-0 game heading into the fourth quarter and
Chris Chandler had left the game with a concussion but the Bears
smothered the Falcons and new super-QB Michael Vick for 21 points.
The Bears can play defense as they have allowed 30 points in three
games. If they can get the running game together - James Allen has
been stuck in mud, it is time to try Anthony Thomas - to go with
a decent passing game; they could hurt a few teams. This is not
a playoff team but a team that could be a pest. They play the defeatable
Arizona Cardinals Week 5 and could be 3-1.
It May Be Time To Sell Brian Griese
Remember those days when Brian Griese was on pace for a 48 passing
touchdown year and 4,500 passing yards. Those days were just a few
weeks ago after he and his receivers had toasted the Giants and
Cardinals in the first two weeks of the season. The past two weeks,
with Eddie Kennison as the answer at the other receiver spot, the
numbers look nasty. They look like bad Trent Dilfer numbers. The
last two games the pace is for 16 TDs, 2,500 passing yards, and
24 interceptions. These are not the numbers of a top fantasy quarterback;
these are the numbers of the guy you pick off the free agent heap.
The problem is he has no one to throw to but Rod Smith. He had 20
passing attempts and by our count 13 went towards Smith. If you
are a defensive coordinator, for the opposition, it may make sense
to double Smith and let the others run under single coverage. What
also hurts Griese is an effective running game, which will keep
his attempts down. If you are a fantasy owner it may be the perfect
time to move Griese before others realize his affliction.
Jake Plummer Is Looking Good
Now don't trade Griese for Plummer, nimrod, but if Plummer is available
on the waiver wire, you might want to grab him as a backup. Coming
into the year we liked Plummer because of an improved offensive
line and a poor defense. Figuring that he would have more time and
have the need to throw the ball to keep the game in range, we looked
for a good amount of yards and 20-25 touchdowns. Plummer looked
to us as a quarterback that would cost little and maybe fill the
back end of the top-12 at the end of the year. He is on that pace.
After three games, Plummer has a season of 4,000 yards and 21 passing
TDs. Can he keep it up, who knows? Plummer is as stable as a vial
of nitroglycerin in a cage of angry gorillas.
Mark Bond can be found,
most days, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn, eating hot sausage sandwiches
topped with BBQ chips, chili, and coleslaw, slapping back Cuervo
shooters, and rambling on about those warm evenings spent with Janet
Reno. He is not related to James Bond but has the same air of sophistication
of Sean Connery. Mark is currently annoying his workmates at Jackpot
Sports, home of the first daily fantasy baseball game, the Reggie
Jackson Fantasy Baseball Challenge, plus weekly and seasonal Fantasy
Football games.
