Each week of games is another day in the classroom for fantasy football
2001. Study and you have a chance at passing the course at the end
of the semester. Fall asleep after closing the local bars and you
will receive an "F". Here is what we learned Week 6...
Iron Mike Needs Help
The Green Bay Packers are playing miserably. It is an outright embarrassment
to all things cheese. The game is well past the time where any sane
person would think the Packers have a chance to win. Not Iron Mike
Sherman. There is fewer than three minutes to go and the score is
35-7 but who is leading Sherman's army but none other than Brett
Favre and Ahman Green. Generally, when a team is four scores behind
and has less than three minutes to go, they take their best players
- Favre and Green - out of harm's way. No reason to risk their health
when the battle is lost and there are more battles to fight, right.
Well Iron Mike didn't think so. He thought they could catch those
pesky Vikings by racing down the field four times in a 150 seconds.
So out on the field Favre and Green go to score a big touchdown.
Woo Hoo! Who gives a flying fish! The game was well over. Then Sherman,
oblivious to all things sensible, has Favre go for a two-point conversion.
Favre gets hit and hurts his elbow. Sherman is saying Favre's elbow
will be fine but, of course, what else can he say. After this crazed
moment what did Sherman have to say? Sherman said, " As a competitor
and a coach it is hard to concede." So, the Packers organization
is hiring a professional chess player who will point out to Iron
Mike when it is the correct time to stop the clock, reach across
the table, and shake the opponent's hand. Better that than to lose
the MVP of the league because the coach is a fool.
The Patriots Are Stuck
The Patriots are 3-3 and in trouble. How can that be you're thinking,
they are just a half game out of the division lead and have won
three of their last four games. However, they are in deep trouble.
See, they went into the deep end of the pool and signed Drew Bledsoe
to a megabucks contract. Drew Bledsoe is hurt. So what is the big
deal, players get hurt all the time. Yep, but their replacement
doesn't always upstage them like Tom Brady has. Since Drew went
out bleeding from a sucking chest wound, the Patriots have outscored
their opponents 121-86. This has occurred in no small part because
of Brady. Brady in his first four NFL starts is 3-1 with the seventh
best quarterback rating in the NFL. He has a better quarterback
rating than Jeff Garcia, Peyton Manning and New England icon Doug
Flutie. So, what gives, what is the problem, they are winning and
the kid is doing a good job. The problem is that when he comes back,
Bledsoe will want to start. What happens if Brady is still doing
a better than serviceable or better than Bledsoeable job and the
Patriots are winning. Tough to give Drew - or as Patriot's fans
refer to him as, Herman Munster - his job back. If the Patriots
don't give him the job back then they cut his trade value by half.
Who wants to trade for the highest paid backup quarterback in history?
Not I. If they play Bledsoe and the Patriots start losing games,
the upheaval would make the Boston Massacre look like tea and crumpets
at the Ritz Carlton. What happens with Brady in 2003 when he can
start looking around? It will be tough to carry Bledsoe, pay for
the QB of the future, and field a competent team all under the salary
cap. For Patriot fans the issue is moot, play Brady until he makes
the decision for you. That decision may not be very palatable to
the Patriots.
The AFC Central Is Going To Be One Wild Ride
A division that looked like one of the easiest to handicap at the
beginning of the year - Baltimore, Tennessee, and who cares what
's left - is a great pot of gumbo. Now what is up is down and vice
versa. The only constant is Cincinnati as they look to be mediocre
but the better teams in the division lately - Tennessee, Baltimore,
and Jacksonville -- are a combined 7-9. Moreover, they don't look
like they are coming out of the swirl. The leaders of the division
are, inexplicably, Pittsburgh and Cleveland. Pittsburgh seems to
be the real deal as they can play defense and run the football.
Kind of an AFC version of the Giants with a more mobile quarterback
- Sammy Baugh is more mobile than Kerry Collins. The wildcards are
Baltimore and Cleveland. Baltimore has big time problems on offense
- wasn't Brian Billick a super-genius -- and the defense has stopped
scaring people - except for the few that see Tony Siragusa in the
shower. The Browns have legitimacy problems. No, not Dave Meggett-like
legitimacy problems but I am not ready to believe Butch Davis is
Bill Parcells. It may get clearer this week as Baltimore goes to
Jax and Tennessee goes to Pittsburgh but it could get really muddy
if Pittsburgh loses. Hang on Central fans this ride will be fun.
It's Not Hard Being Marshall Faulk
All along we presumed that Marshall Faulk was one of the most special
athletic creatures on the planet. That few human beings could make
the moves, gain the ground, and score the touchdowns that Marshall
could. He has had this pedigree of being one of the greatest running
backs ever since coming from San Diego State and nothing he has
done in his NFL career has changed that notion. Now, fresh from
the reserves runs Trung Canidate. He replaces Marshall due to an
injury and before we can say Robert Holcombe, the man is taking
pitches to pay dirt, taking direct snaps and dying just a scant
nickel from two football lengths of rushing yards. No longer are
we as enthralled with Marshall's abilities and neither, we hear,
is Rams' coach Mike Martz. We hear Martz is going to try Orlando
Pace next week as another step in this grand sociological experiment.
After that he pulls fans from the stands to try and play like Marshall.
No More Stomping His Feet and Holding His
Breath
Remember the summer. That idyllic time where people try to spend
as much time as they can away from work and at camp. Marty Morningwheg
wasn't happy when he was at camp and pulled a snit driving off on
his motorcycle leaving all his campers awestruck at such a performance.
That was when Marty was an undefeated coach trying to grab the attention
of some misbehaving players. Now Marty is only defeated and if he
gets back on his motorcycle to prove a point, better have the keys
to the gate with him. He may just find his bags packed and outside
of the gate. It is amazing how power can slip quickly.
There Is Something Wrong With Eddie
It is high time to say it. This is not going to be a classic Eddie
George year. We felt a little glimmer of hope against the Buccaneers
but he ran for 51 yards on 26 carries against the Lions, yeah, Marty
Morningwheg's Lions. To me that is death. There could be any number
of reasons to explain his pace of 900 rushing yards and three touchdowns
but we have to go back to this list of possible culprits. The first
is his toe. He had surgery but has yet to run like the Eddie George
we all knew and loved since. Second is the fact that no one on the
planet is afraid of the Titans passing game and can creep forward
to stop the running game. Third is the offensive line has lost the
ability to block. We would rank the three in the order of two, one,
and three. Steve "Airless" McNair has defenses crawling
forward but it also wouldn't surprise us if George has physical
problems that no one is talking about. Whatever it is, he is not
a starting fantasy running back anymore. And that is shocking.
Mark Bond can be found,
most days, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn, eating hot sausage sandwiches
topped with BBQ chips, chili, and coleslaw, slapping back Cuervo
shooters, and rambling on about those warm evenings spent with Janet
Reno. He is not related to James Bond but has the same air of sophistication
of Sean Connery. Mark is currently annoying his workmates at Jackpot
Sports, home of the first daily fantasy baseball game, the Reggie
Jackson Fantasy Baseball Challenge, plus weekly and seasonal Fantasy
Football games.
