Also, you Colorado freaks please tell me where the #$%@ that team was when they played Fresno State? They lost two games, if they hadn't they would have something to whine about but they lost more games during the year than a handful of other teams. Why does a two-point win over Texas in December mean more than the 34-point loss to Texas six weeks earlier?

Oh and while I'm giving out Standing O's, how about the University of Hawaii. They slapped the BYU crying Cougars. Is that lawsuit filed yet?

Think those virgins from Salt Lake City found it tough getting lei'd on the big island. Send them to New Orleans and they may defect.

In a week that Nebraska and Colorado didn't play, how did Colorado suddenly get more votes? Think some of those ethically-challenged voters were trying to cook the BCS' books?

John Madden kept making excuses for Terrell Owens but the only thing wrong with Owens was that he had Aeneas Williams attached to him. Williams is one of the most overlooked players in the game. That's what happens when you play for the Cardinals and only the Cardinals.

Madden also kept wondering about Garrison Hearst but it seems that Steve Mariucci got lost during the game. Hope for the 49ers left when they stopped playing Hearst. They don't have the multiple weapons of St. Louis. When Hearst and Owens touch the ball 15 times the 49ers don't have much of a chance.

Anyone remember the last time Az Hakim did something positive for the Rams. I don't understand their fascination with the guy.

The dream continues as Detroit loses the 12th straight game. Tampa did all they could to lose including leaving the ball on Detroit's three at the end of the half but they woke up and realized that Detroit isn't better than some Tampa Pop Warner squads.

Any shock that Keyshawn got his first score against the Lions or that the Lions fumbled their last chance when they were only a field goal down.

The Lions are working hard at this streak but Week 14's game may be the toughest to lose as they face the Vikings. They will have to try even harder to overcome victory.

Memo to Marty Morningwheg, the onside kick surprise sucks when you don't recover and if you try it every game it ceases to be a surprise. And when you are 0-11, with a 12-7 lead, on the opponents 34, and it is fourth down, you don't punt. Sure the team is a pitiful bunch of non-talent - thanks Matt Millen - but kicking it into the end zone is no better than tossing a pick. Go for the damn win.

Is there a more frightening moment to the day when the words CBS Doubleheader hit you in the forehead?

No more frightening then when you realize that your second game is KC/Oak with the wonderful Beasley Reece doing sideline reporting or Craig James doing color.

Vinny Sutherland is one of the most exciting guys in the game. He charges forward with those returns not thinking for a moment that he will be separated from his head. He has no ability to get out of the way of the oncoming loons so death hangs over the field every time he takes a kick back. Very exciting.

It is officially time for Drew Brees to take the ball. San Diego has no chance for the playoffs and it would be better to get the kid the ball and some time. Someone wake Mike Riley and tell him.

One last BCS rant. Anyone believing that there will be a playoff system doesn't understand the most American phrase of all. Money talks and bull - it is a family article -- walks. Until the money end can be figured out, the BCS and the bowls games will always be around.

Once Brees becomes the QB it is also time to get rid Doug Flutie because he won't go quietly. See if the Bengals would like him.

We have professed our love for Troy Brown before but the man should be receiving some MVP love at the end of the year. He isn't the MVP - take a bow Marshall Faulk - but he is the Patriots rep.

Speaking of former Patriots' MVP candidate Tom Brady, he and Tim Couch combined for five interceptions and zero scores.

You too can be a television programmer. What genius came up with "That 80's Show?" How long before we have a show for every decade? Maybe cut some into half decades. That 60's show will have a first half-decade that resembles the final days of "Happy Days" and the other half will show violent anti-war protests, the free-love movement, and a ton of bong hits.

Can we get a stand-in for Matt Millen as his faces when the Lions lose are getting stale? Can't the Ford family hire Jim Carrey for the rest of the season?

Can the President stop the Randy Moss last second scores? When was the last time Moss had an important score?

Todd Bouman, who knew?

Detroit 23 Minnesota 17 Randy Moss is nowhere to be found and James Stewart has a huge game, you read it here first.

Every time Trent Green runs the ball my teeth grind. I have to wear a mouthpiece when watching their games.

The Rams play with Kurt Warner walking away from the center and snapping the ball to the back, in this case Marshall Faulk, will be outlawed next year.

Goodbye Titans.

It isn't Brett Favre but Ahman Green that is the MVP for the Packers. They will go as far as he carries them. Favre will help obviously but getting the ball in Green's hands has been the deciding factor in most of their wins.

Where is the love for James Allen? He gains 200 rushing yards the previous two weeks and finds no love against the Packers. Did he get lost on the way to Green Bay?

Goodbye Giants.

Maybe it's not to late for Jim Fassel to call Notre Dame for a job. Not a coaching job but how about clapping erasers.

What was the likelihood that Tyrone Willingham was to be the next coach of Notre Dame? He is more likely to be head coach at Alabama or President of the United States then coach at Notre Dame.

He's never been the player anyone thought he'd become - see Rich Gannon or Jeff Garcia - but Mark Brunell has touchdown passes in eight-straight games and 200-plus passing yards in five of the last six games.

Freshly made cole slaw is one of the great foods. It can be eaten at any time, including a big dollop of slaw for breakfast.

Anyone watching "Survivor Africa" should have his or her voting rights pulled. Certainly, an addiction to the other "reality" shows deserves deportment.

If he stayed healthy and played for a better organization would we respect Muhsin Muhammad a little more.

I must apologize for any disparaging remarks I made about Priest Holmes. The man can play.

It only took Dan Reeves almost two years but anyone watching Falcons football - Is that cruel and unusual punishment? - knew that Brian Finneran could play. Maybe next season they will realize that the AARP squad posing as receivers might not be the best idea.

When Aaron Brooks is accurate - about as often as Britney Spears covers her navel - the Saints are a tough team. He was accurate against the Falcons Week 13.

You know it is a serious rebuilding project when the Home Depot guy buys the Falcons. Do they have a set of blueprints for aging offenses?

No truth to the rumor the only reason the Chiefs hadn't challenged a play this year was that they had lost their little red beanbag.

Are Dave Campo's Cowboys the giant killers in the NFC East? They killed the Giants this past week and may have killed the Redskins Week 12. If the 'Skins had paid attention against the Cowboys Week 15's game against the Eagles would be a little more important. That loss put them in a hole that a tough end of the year schedule is filling with dirt.

Why does Kris Brown hate me?

1. St. Louis Rams
   
2. Pittsburgh Steelers
   
3. Green Bay Packers
   
4. Oakland Raiders
   
5. San Francisco 49ers
   
6. Chicago Bears
   
7. New England Patriots
   
8. Miami Dolphins
   
9. Philadelphia Eagles
   
10. New York Jets/Baltimore Ravens - I hate hearing Tony Siragusa cry
    

:: comments to mark bond