Each week we will review the great, odd, poor, and weird happenings
of the past weeks football games. Yeah there will be a little fantasy
football info somewhere. I think.
There is no greater day of the year than Daylight Savings Sunday,
not Christmas, Thanksgiving, or New Years, not any day. The combination
of football and an extra hour of sleep is sublime. We will allow
that the day your children are born is a bigger day but any of you
saying your Wedding Day better get a 100,000-mile tune-up.
There are wild stats in many games each Sunday but the Buccaneers
holding the Vikings to zero first downs the first half is crazy.
Speaking of crazy, for what reason is Stuart Scott on television
talking about football. Other than to annoy anyone caring to watch
a pregame show, I would almost rather watch Mike Ditka and Jerry
Glanville talk about our dealings with the Taliban than to see Stuart
Scott say a word about football. Or anything else for that matter.
The Rams got in trouble the moment they decided to throw the ball
only. It is Mike Martz's weakness that he falls in love with the
pass and forgets the run. Canidate had 195 rushing yards Week 6
and Martz decided the only way to beat the Saints was to throw.
It was the same decision that started the Rams down the wrong path
last season.
Speaking of Canidate, the Rams have to keep him on the field and
that is going to subtract time from someone. It's not going to be
Faulk, Bruce, or Holt but Hakim might find the pine a little more
often.
Aaron Brooks' lack of passing accuracy costs the Saints big plays.
Mark Brunell's secret Week 7 - Red Bull.
What is Adam Sandler doing in Baltimore wearing a sumo outfit and
a bad wig? We know "Little Nicky" was one of the worst
films in the history of cinema but no reason to throw your career
away.
We told you a few weeks ago that Corey Dillon circles the positive
matches. Detroit was a big circle day and Jacksonville Week 9 will
have a few around it, too.
All of you waiting for Kevan Barlow to take the job may be waiting
for a Hearst injury. Only Week 2 has Barlow had more than 10 carries
and that was the week Hearst was injured.
The way the Bears are trying to win is to play ball control by running
the ball and passing it conservatively. They will try to allow the
defense to win games. How conservative were the Bears with the passing
game? They completed 19 passes to wide receivers and gained only
154 yards.
How many people knew who Dominic Rhodes was before Thursday night?
How many were trying to pick his ass up Friday morning?
Neil Rackers is killing the Bengals. How many people thought, before
the season, that Neil Rackers would matter at all?
Dave Sloan and Dave Moore caught touchdown passes Sunday. I know
I called 911 after I found out.
No truth to the rumor that Minnesota coach Dennis Green has called
Chuck Foreman and will try him out over the Viking's bye week.
Not to kill this to death but teams heading into their bye week
- Minnesota, Cincinnati, and St. Louis - were 1-2.
I hate those 1972 Dolphins sitting around the country just waiting
for the last undefeated team to lose so they can toast how wonderful
they were. Each year I start rooting for that last undefeated team
as if they are my own. Hope the champagne is flat, you bitter old
goats.
Welcome to the NFL Chris Weinke.
Vinny Testaverde hadn't thrown an interception all year until the
one near the half against the Rams Week 6. He has four in the past
6-plus quarters.
It took over half the game for Brian Billick to realize that Randall
couldn't win the game by himself. At that point, Jason Brookins
became the Ravens starting running back. He had 11 carries for 47
yards and a score in the second half.
I'm sure that some Redskins fanatic - they still have those, don't
they - thought the Giants would fold like a house of cards for the
third week but there are people that think the dinosaurs and the
moonwalk are fictitious.
Jim Fassell, it is time for your "We are going to make the
Playoffs" guarantee. And Arizona you had your chance to be
the King, go back home, and wait for the draft.
There is no truth to the rumor that President Bush has sent FEMA
to assess the state of the NFC East.
Not that anyone cares but Stephen Davis is two yards from having
three straight 100-yards rushing games. Of course, he has yet to
access the end zone.
Mark Twain said it first but now Michael Westbrook was heard to
utter "The report of my death was an exaggeration" after
taking the egg to the house against the Giants.
Matt Hasselbeck 1-3, Trent Dilfer 2-0.
Mike Holmgren said this week that Ricky Watters would be the starter
after he came back from his injury. Shaun Alexander's two lost fumbles
-- four fumbles in three and a half games -- Week 7 didn't do anything
to sway the walrus.
Another line I thought I wouldn't think or say, Rian Lindell is
killing the Seahawks.
We said it last week we will say it again. Never walk away from
a game that Doug Flutie is playing. I don't care if it is checkers;
keep your eye on the playing field.
We caught the end of the San Diego game so the identity of the commentators
was unknown to us but they had no idea that the reason the touchdown
at the end of the game was being challenged was because the people
in the booth didn't think Travis Henry scored. He didn't but the
officials ruled otherwise. At the end, after the Bills had failed
to execute a field goal attempt there was a long-winded attempt,
by the color man, to say why Rob Johnson was the right quarterback
for the Bills. Wow!
It is easy to see why the Eagles are 3-3, they can't move the ball
offensively against a good team, - they had 11 offensive possessions
and ran 43 plays. They lost to the Rams and the Raiders for that
exact reason and should've lost to the Giants but the Giants had
their heads firmly planted where they sit.
The good new is they are still in first place.
We can safely assume that the "Tom Brady is God" graffiti
won't cover every bridge along Storrow Drive anymore. Brady went
down hard in the fourth quarter throwing four interceptions in his
last 10 passes.
Hey Bill Belichick, David Patten is not a quarterback.
If we were handicapping the Denver running back race, we'd say Mike
Anderson was a three-point favorite to get more carries than Olandis
Gary Week 8. That type of stuff has to turn an owners stomach.
Speaking of handicapping, the Saints/Rams game is just another in
a long line of reasons why to invest in Mutual Funds.
I'm sure logistically it would be a nightmare but can we have Ray
Charles sing "America the Beautiful" before every game.
Mark Bond can be found,
most days, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn, eating hot sausage sandwiches
topped with BBQ chips, chili, and coleslaw, slapping back Cuervo
shooters, and rambling on about those warm evenings spent with Janet
Reno. He is not related to James Bond but has the same air of sophistication
of Sean Connery. Mark is currently annoying his workmates at Jackpot
Sports, home of the first daily fantasy baseball game, the Reggie
Jackson Fantasy Baseball Challenge, plus weekly and seasonal Fantasy
Football games.
