Carolina/Buffalo
A quick side move here. Could anyone that read the list of possible Notre Dame coaching candidates on a major sports dot-com the other day not blown nose bubbles when they saw the name of George Seifert. Seifert is one of the great coaching frauds. He took over a superior 49ers team and won with it, a feat that meant not getting in the way of Steve Young, Jerry Rice, and the rest. It was the same type of coaching job perfected by K.C. Jones when he had Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Dennis Johnson, and Robert Parish. Roll the ball onto the court and try to stay awake. Seifert is as far from being coach of Notre Dame as he is to bedding Britney Spears. The only thing to watch here is for a Van Pelt rebound game. He was miserable Sunday night but the Panthers are not the 49ers and that gives the owners of Peerless Price and Eric Moulds hope.

Jacksonville/Cincinnati
Speaking of Notre Dame coaching applicants, Tom Coughlin has dodged the talk but he is the best and most likely of the NFL coaches. His team sucks, they are going to suck next season - salary cap is making it tough to keep or add players to an aging and injury-prone franchise --, and he will be available soon. He also has coached college ball at Boston College, which is almost major college football, and won. He has recruited, and that can't be overlooked, plus his demeanor is better suited to scaring the crap out of teenagers than thirty-year olds making seven figures. This game is the fight for the AFC Central cellar. Something that the Bengals are quite used to. Actually the Bengals are used to having the cellar to themselves, and probably are aghast at having to share. Kind of like the younger brother pushed aside when his lazy, dumbass older brother comes back from school and kicks him out of the good bedroom. Watch Jimmy Smith who should have a good day against the Bengals' secondary. That is if Brunell can drag his one good leg onto the field after Monday night's heroics. For Cincy watch to see if they get Akili Smith some field time as they have to decide whether he will ever make the grade. He won't. This should be a good Corey Dillon game as he has waited the requisite four weeks since his last blowout game and is due for a seventy-yard score. Watch Justin Smith, he could be the difference in a game no one cares about other than the AD at Notre Dame and he is rooting for the Bengals.

Giants/Dallas
This is a game similar to the Saints/Falcons match where we thought one team would be much better than the other but it hasn't worked that way. The Cowboys have held up their end despite the proclamations of Jerry Jones that they would win 10 games. It could take deep into next season before they see their tenth victory if we start the count at the beginning of the 2001 season. The Giants are the disappointment. They are the reigning NFC champions but have done little this season to remind fans of that fact. With a week off to generate some energy, they should take the measure of the Cowboys. Of course that is what we thought the last time and only a flurry at the end spared the Giants from tasting a retched defeat. Watch to see if anything has changed in the way the Giants are using Tiki Barber. He and the pass defense are the keys to getting the Giants back to the playoffs. As is Kerry Collins, but we hope that Jim Fassel figured out during his siesta that Collins is as much the problem as the solution and that the offense should go through Barber. The only thing to watch on the Cowboys, other than the highly comical Dave Campo - the man makes the greatest faces since Buster Keaton -, is the use of Emmitt Smith. He bitched about his use, or responded to Campo's comments about his use, and got the carries he wanted, which froze out Troy Hambrick. Emmitt's days are numbered and it is better to make the move sooner than later. Do the Cowboys have the 'nads to make that decision or will they wait two more seasons?

Chicago/Green Bay
Show of hands. . . Damn! Used that already. These two are prime examples of forward football. They easily dwarf their NFC Frozen Pizza Division rivals in stopping the backward mistakes. Chicago's forte is not committing penalties while Green Bay sacks the opposition plenty of times more than the opposition sacks them. Their first game was a close battle statistically won by the Packers. They won on the scoreboard, as well. The Packers were able to move the ball on the ground and through the air. The Bears had problems running the ball with Thomas and resorted to a series of short passes that buffaloed the Packers pass rush but also led to many third and fours that came up short due to three-yard passes to Marty Booker or Dez White. Watch to see if the Bears open up and try to get the ball downfield. Watch to see if David Terrell can hold onto the rock. He gets open and then he drops passes. Like the kid in the sixth grade that was always selected last. He was open too. Watch to see the usage of James Allen. Allen had two good weeks while Thomas was out and could steal some play. Watch to see if the Packers try and run the ball down the Bears throat. The Bears have been tough against the run and weak against the pass so it would seem that the strategy would be to pass first but the Packers had success running in Game 1 so either strategy is possible. Watch Ryan Longwell as he has been a bit of a problem lately. If he can't consistently put the ball through the stakes, the Packers may have problems down the stretch.

San Francisco/St. Louis
Let's be honest, this is the premier-looking game of the week. It pits two of the best teams in the league fighting for the division crown plus it has plenty of offensive firepower. To us it is not quite as exciting as some of the games that will decide the life and death struggles for the playoffs but this, on paper, is the game that looks to be the most fun. That said, it could be a total blowout. The Rams have the ability to put even good teams away - see the Dolphins - and the 49ers, while improved defensively, don't have the greatest pass rush. It is the pass rush that forces Kurt Warner into mistakes. That could be the biggest challenge for the 49ers. The most important player in the game is whoever has the job of tailing Marshall Faulk. If that person can slow Faulk the 49ers have a chance, if they can't then we are looking at 38-21. Watch Terrell Owens who seems to drop as many balls as he catches. And still he dominates games. Watch to see if Lance Schulters' demeaning words about Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt's manhood spurs the Rams receivers from their funk or if the 49ers strong safety is onto something.

Tennessee/Minnesota
Remember back in the good old days of the NFL when the Vikings and Titans were two of the best teams in the game. It ain't like that now. The Vikings while not the least talented team in the league may in a philosophical sense be the worst team in the league. Only when Randy Moss decides to play can the team play better than the Panthers or Lions of the world. When he doesn't wish to play - our calculations put that at 37-of-44 quarters this season - the Vikings do nothing well. They can't defend and can't run the ball. The only thing they can do is pass when Randy wants to play. The Titans are trying hard but their bread and butter of running the ball and defending hasn't worked all season. They can't run due to Eddie George's infirmed body and an offensive line that can't move the pile. The pass defense has been weak all season with a missing pass rush and an injured secondary. What has improved is the Titans passing game now that Derrick Mason is healthy. Without him Kevin Dyson was the only show in town, but Mason brings a different dimension to the offense. Watch for your Randy Moss sighting. He is a tall thin man that usually jogs in place whenever there is resistance downfield. See if the Titans can run the ball against the Vikings. Everyone else has been able to and this may be Eddie's last chance at running the rock. Watch to see if Todd Bouman can push the ball downfield against the Titans. He played well when the Steelers played "prevent" but the Titans will actually be trying to stop the pass. It is a slight difference but it is still a difference.

Cleveland/New England
There are some crazy things on the Internet and an incorrectly typed URL could send the typist to a site that, well, we don't have to draw a picture. The other day I saw a site that never in my wildest dreams thought would be on the web. It was a Bill Belichick fan site. It was not run by the Patriots or, we think, by his family or agents. A fan ran it. Scary. This is a game we didn't think would happen. Well we knew it would happen but not a game that was deciding a playoff spot. If these two teams had combined for seven wins at this point it was a successful season. Instead the Patriots have seven wins and the Browns six. Amazing. Watch to see if the Browns can run the ball against the Patriots. The Browns running game has been shaky, like a heroin user three days from his last hit, and have to run the ball to succeed. Watch to see if the Browns can put a pass rush up against the Patriots without Courtney Brown. Watch for a Terry Glenn sighting. The Patriots have been fine without him and we see him as third down receiver at this point. Watch Terry Glenn at all times. See if anyone talks to him, if the coaches hug him, and if Bob Kraft slaps him on the back. It may bring a tear.

San Diego/Philadelphia
A few weeks ago this game was important, now it better be a bump in the road for the Eagles. This could mark the beginning of the end for Doug Flutie. If the Chargers lose, there is no reason for them to continue playing Flutie over Brees. Brees is the future and he should start getting a feel for the game. His one entreaty was reasonably successful and it makes little sense to play for the wins if you are 5-8. Watch Donovan McNabb and his receivers. It has been an on and off love affair. Watch to see if the Chargers go with Tomlinson as defense against the run is the Eagles Achilles heel. Forget the place kickers for San Diego other than for the hilarity of having two kickers on a team. It is the greatest waste of roster utilization since the specified long-snapper.

Detroit/Tampa Bay
I look forward to these Detroit games each week more than any other match. This is history in the making. How often does a team get this far into the schedule without winning? With these type of streaks there are plenty of good human-interest stories. First and foremost is Matt Millen coming from radio to be the President of the Lions. If he fails this will be his first and last attempt. The same might be said about Marty Morningwheg. The coaching carousel stops at the same address often but rarely when the addressee was the head of a disaster. How many NFL coaching jobs did Rich Kotite get after the Jets? Players will find new addresses as well. Herman Moore's is likely to be his home as the once dominant receiver is now a frail shadow. Charlie Batch is likely gone if Mike McMahon can play. A few less recognizable names should follow into the pile. If there was one name that should be gone from the Lions it is the name Ford. One of the greatest names in U.S. history has been an anchor around the legs of the Lions. Of teams playing at the merger, only the Lions, Saints, and Cardinals have missed the Super Bowl. This game should not be the game the Lions break the ice. If it is, the Buccaneers should make a public address announcement as the fans are filing out that they have fired Tony Dungy lest there be a riot on the streets of Tampa. Matter-of-fact, the Lions should not be allowed to win an away game for fear that the home teams stadium would resemble downtown Khandahar. Watch to see if James Stewart gets the rock early. The Bucs have problems against the run and controlling the ball is best with manic Mike McMahon taking snaps. Watch Scottie Anderson - he of the effeminate end zone celebration - as he dropped a couple passes last week but probably has worked with McMahon more than anyone else. Watch the Bucs toss the rock as they try to get an early lead. Fear is going to be a great motivator for teams playing the Lions. Watch to see if there are plenty of ambulances circling the field as McMahon is a possible cart job. And, of course, watch to see how much face time Millen gets as he agonizes during each bad play.

Washington/Arizona
The loser of this game is out of the playoffs. That is a strange statement. Even considering the Cardinals as playoff matter is one of the first signs of lunacy. Still, here they stand one game out of the playoffs with an easy schedule - easy if you are a good team - a star receiver, and an unpredictable QB. They have a chance. So do the Redskins. Of course the Redskins had a better chance before losing to the hapless Cowboys. This game should be the prime example of football in the 21st Century. Neither team is very good but both have a shot, which addresses the problem or success of the NFL. If you are looking for well-played football, it is hard to find in these days of the salary cap but if you are looking for parity a person can't make a move without stepping in it. A good move by either of these teams could propel them from also ran to NFC contender. That is how small the difference is between sniffing cash and sniffing grass. No, Nate Newton, the mowable stuff. Look at the 49ers. If they don't sign Jeff Garcia and go with Rick Mirer would they be 9-2 at this point? Don't think so. Watch Stephen Davis as the Redskins should be running the ball because the Cardinals are not tough up front. Watch to see if the Cardinals go right to David Boston. He is the man in Arizona and the running game could be troubled without Pete Kendall and Leonard Davis. Boston has had only one game with fewer than 70 receiving yards and he is the person that drives the Cardinals offense. Watch Jake Plummer. A few more good games and the replacement talk will go away. The Cardinals really need defensive help in the draft and will only go after a QB if they are totally unhappy with Plummer. Loser is done for the year, winner gets to stay in this game of Playoff Survivor - ugh.

Jets/Pittsburgh
If Bettis were playing and the Jets had not lost to the Patriots this game would have much more intrigue than it does today. With Oakland losing this would've been a battle for AFC pre-playoff supremacy. Instead there is plenty of interest but really on the Jets side only. They need this game. The Steelers can afford a loss and without Bettis may get one. Watch Fuamatu-Ma'afala. If he runs well it could spell the end of Bettis in the near future. Watch Curtis Martin as the Jets have a good offensive line and the Steelers can stop the run. The winner of this battle may not necessarily win the game but will highlight which one has the better chance at moving forward in the near future. If there is a game not meant for Vinny Testaverde, this is it. The Steelers defenders will hound him and if the running game doesn't work he could be the first simulated ketchup stain on Heinz Field.

Kansas City/Oakland
This may be one of the few games on the schedule with no playoff ramifications. Sure the Raiders could lose but what is the chance of that? Really, honestly. The chance of a Brad Pitt/Rosie O'Donnell union has lower odds. The odds that Randy Moss plays a full game are better. The Chiefs are playing out the season in hopes of finding a little string of wins to propel some off-season enthusiasm. Not much else matters for their season. The Raiders are trying to get their stuff - it is a family article, the Manson family but family nonetheless - together. They need desperately to prove they can stop the run. Maybe get Darrell Russell to spike the Gatorade. Kind of a football version of Jim Jones. Or Timothy Leary. Maybe those crazies with the purple shrouds and Nike sneakers. Have we heard if they ever made it to the tail of the Hale-Bopp comet? I am getting a craving for applesauce. Sorry, I digress. The Raiders have to find a way to stop the run or Jon Gruden is going to wish he hadn't passed on the Notre Dame job. That is the best thing to watch. It may be the only thing to watch. Owners of Rich Gannon, Tim Brown, and Jerry Rice are hoping that Priest Holmes has a field day.

Seattle/Denver
This game is similar to the Patriots/Browns game except they are a half a step behind. The loser, especially if it is Denver, is done. More than likely 10-6 makes the playoffs and Denver is on the precipice of falling out of reach. Who'd a thunk that after the spanking they gave to the Giants Week 1 they'd be scrapping for the last playoff spot. But this is what we were talking about teams being thin and small things making a big difference. Ed McCaffrey highlighted a weakness in the receiving corps, Brian Griese, the running game, and eventually the defense. For want of a McCaffrey a title was lost. Watch Rod Smith, if he can get on the field. Watch Ricky Watters. He is one of the most entertaining players in the league and the first time he steps onto the field lightening bolts will fly across the sky. Even if he is stopped for a two-yard loss. Watch the Deltha O'Neal/Darrell Jackson battle as these two could be battling for a few more years. Watch Rian Lindell. He is the key to the Seahawks chances. Yow, that is a scary thought.<p/>

Indianapolis/Miami
Football fans everywhere should shed a tear for what might have been Monday night. This should be for the AFC East title. Or the fight for the title. It should be between two 8-3 teams. One of whom - the Colts - trying to avenge an earlier toe-to-toe loss. Instead it is a good but flawed - we could say that about every NFL contender - Miami team against a flawed should be good Colts team. The game means little other than a loss for the Dolphins makes the East a free-for-all - cue Ted Nugent. A win for the Colts is unlikely as Peyton Manning, doing his best Terry Malloy, doesn't have the weapons. Can't win the game with only one wide receiver and no defense. It would be like starting a chess game without a rook and a bishop. A win might be manufactured but you are relying on the idiocy of the opponent. Damn, the Dolphins have Dave Wannstedt. Watch to see if slick Dave figures a way to get shifty Travis Minor into the game over Lamar "six feet and a cloud of dust" Smith. Watch Chris Chambers as he continues to put up good nights. He should have a monster against the weak secondary of the Colts. The Monday night crew will drone on about Jim Mora and his eventual demise.

:: comments to mark bond