Arizona/Carolina
How ugly a game is this? The Panthers are a horrible team without a map, the stars, or a navigator. They started by beating the Vikings and have run the table for losses since then. They are at the bottom defending against the pass and the run. I exaggerate as they are 28th against the pass. The Cardinals, the team on the upswing here, are almost as bad defensively but the difference is David Boston catching passes. Carolina has little to watch other than a decent linebacking crew that could use a big run-stopper in the middle to help keep the guards off their legs. The future in Arizona is the offensive line. Watch Leonard Davis, one of the best rookies in the NFL, as he and his buddies on the offensive line are the keys to future growth in Arizona. Watch the running game for hints to whether they re-sign Michael Pittman. Watch something besides football if this is all you've got. Maybe take a walk.

Pittsburgh/Cincinnati
Any doubts about how badly injured Jerome Bettis is should be erased by his comments that he may not "need" to play in the regular season to be ready for the playoffs. We think he may not be able to play in the regular season and that the Steelers better figure out who will replace Bettis for the rest of the way. Also, this should affect anyone's thoughts about Bettis' future. He is 30-years old in February and running backs, especially big ones, age quickly. However, this may affect the Steelers less than any team in the NFL as they have two players that can step in and play almost as well as Bettis. The player to watch for Pittsburgh is Plaxico Burress. If he can continue his end of the season run - last five games he 's averaged 90 yards and added three scores - this team takes on a different look. Watch the Bengals defense as they are much better than the rep or numbers tell you. They have had to defend against their QBs league-leading 23 picks and a running game that is as consistent as quality of the hot dogs in the 7-11 steamer. Here's a bit of trivia to amaze your friends and relatives while watching this mess: Three teams have not allowed a turnover to be returned for a score, they are Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, and Tampa.

San Francisco/Dallas
One goal line stand has stirred the emotions of two cities. The Eagles are wondering if they have the correct personnel to play a power football game and the 49ers suddenly think they can play defense. Whether they can or not is up for debate but in the last five games they have been hell to play against when tossing the pig. In that time they have 13 picks, which leads the NFL - Cleveland is second with 9. They also have two shutouts - Miami/Buffalo - and another game where they allowed only a field goal - Philly. The 49ers had a fistful of rookies playing defense last season and it looks like that the "baptism under fire" is paying off down the stretch. Funniest thing when looking at defensive stats is to see that the Cowboys have allowed fewer yards than anyone outside of Pittsburgh. It hasn't affected the won-lost record or even how many points they allow because their numbers are a bit fraudulent. Being one of the worst offensive teams in the league they always shorten the field for the opposition. Watch how well the 49ers defensive line takes on the run game of the Cowboys. The Cowboys can run the ball a little and the 49ers may need to stop teams like Chicago, Green Bay, or St. Louis to get further on up the road. Watch the Cowboys secondary deal with Terrell Owens. The Cowboys have allowed the fewest yards through the air of anyone in the NFL but the 49ers present a significant problem.

Chicago/Detroit
We should talk about the potential Super Bowl run for the Bears or whom the Lions may take at No. 2 or 3 in the NFL Draft but what is incredibly intriguing is the talk of the Bears signing Drew Bledsoe. With the team playing above and beyond what any sane Bears fan -- it is a small population of total Bears fans -- could've hoped for is this the time they openly discuss replacing the QB? Don't think so. Let's talk about the Bears for a second. Can they win by stopping the run and playing careful offense? Only if they can somehow finagle games against the Buccaneers and Eagles and avoid playing the teams that will force them to toss the pig beyond 10 yards. The Detroit game is as good as any to move the ball downfield. Maybe they will try David "slippery when wet" Terrell's hands again but until he can catch the ball he looks to be a male model more than a football player. The only thing to watch the Lions for at this point is to see how hard they try to avoid victories. They have a serious chance at the second pick in the draft and a good defensive lineman; they must avoid cocking it up. Build the defense and the offense doesn't have to work so hard. If they take a QB or WR over Julius Peppers or John Henderson, we know all we have to know about Matt Millen's ability to build a team.

Minnesota/Green Bay
There is nothing more enjoyable than the Vikings. They are the most dysfunctional team in the league. If a documentary were made of them it would resemble the PBS classic "An American Family" with the parents getting a divorce and the oldest son revealing he was gay. This episode of "An American Football Team" has the oldest son - Cris Carter - dressing down the young, immature son - Randy Moss - for not studying for tests. And then the oldest son reveals he'd rather walk on the wild side - in this case the Green Bay Packers. Amazing stuff going on in front of the whole world, as the parents -- Ray McCombs and Dennis Green -- sit idly by. It will be interesting to see what the results of this tiff are. Will Randy Moss play against the Packers or will he watch? Will Cris Carter - assumed to be retiring - flirt with the enemy because he wants his last days to be happy ones? Will Spergon Wynn or will he lose? Sorry. Watch to see if the Packers take the Vikings seriously and put them away early, like they should, or sleep like they have against every other piss-poor team in their schedule.

Kansas City/Jacksonville
Can the NFL make it mandatory that the losing coach - Dick Vermeil or Tom Coughlin - retires at the end of the season? Probably not, but wouldn't games at the end of the year be more interesting with such propositions? This could apply to older players as well. Much is being made of the too late Jacksonville run with three straight wins but it only shows how far this team has fallen when they are crowing about defeating the Bengals, Browns, and Spergon Wynn led Vikings. They are falling down and will have a hard time making the playoffs for the next five years. The offense is getting old, the defense has personnel problems, and no one listens to the coach anymore. If they try to patch they could get another wildcard berth but will only put off the inevitable. Kansas City is in a better position if they can get the passing attack under control and help the defense some. The Tony Gonzalez situation is troubling but if your tight end is the offensive leader then the team needs some help. Watch to see if Vermeil figures out how to get Derrick Alexander involved. Watch Tony Brackens as his sack-a-game pace recently almost makes him worth all the money and trouble prior to this. What happened to Kyle Brady? He is going to finish with half the receptions he had a season ago for no visible reason.

Atlanta/Miami
The word out of Miami is that Travis Minor may be free to carry the pig a few more times. I don't understand this development, does this mean that Lamar Smith's 2.9 yard-per-carry average is no longer in fashion. Shocking! Could it be that Dave Wannstedt figured out it was tough to convert all those third and fives he was facing? Maybe, but that seems too deep a thought process for the Miami coach. We figure the defense threatened his life because they are the unhappy recipients of all the three downs and out that Lamar's on-field presence has produced. Miami, for those with a stats fetish, is 14th in the AFC in first downs. So, that is the main thing to watch. The Dolphins are going to make the playoffs but have to figure out how to move the ball or they will be out of the playoffs 60 minutes after the playoffs have started. Watch Jed Weaver as he may get a little more play with Gadsden out and the rest of the receivers injured. If you are an Atlanta fan watching the Tampa game Saturday night may be more important than Sunday's game. Atlanta has a breath but the priest has started walking down the hall. There isn't a lot to watch here, as the running game will be dictated by Maurice Smith's health. Watch the rotation at receiver, as Atlanta should figure out whether Brian Finneran can play because they have three very old, ready to die receivers ahead of him on the death, oops, depth chart.

Buffalo/Jets
We assume someone is looking into the confluence of four-six feet of snow in Buffalo this week and the announcement that Rob Johnson may play Week 17. It can't be a coincidence. Think those Buffalo players will want to return to Buffalo after taking in beautiful Northern New Jersey? Nope. The Jets, if we are to believe former Jet Bill Parcells, are what their record says they are. It is hard to take them seriously as a playoff team what with two "by the skin of the skin of their teeth" wins against knuckle draggers, like Cincy and Indy. They have played five games determined by more than a touch and lost three. That isn't a playoff team or, at least, a good playoff team in our book. It all has to do with Matthew Hatchette. Honestly. The Jets put a lot of faith in the fact that Hatchette could be the next Keyshawn or a reasonable facsimile and when he didn't pan out they were left with a bunch of midgets as receivers. While Laveranues Coles has played better than expected the Jets still own the 25th and 27th ranked receivers in yardage in the AFC. Tough to move the ball when your two top wideouts combined have fewer receptions than the top-5, including the always imitated never replaced aforementioned Johnson. It is all Hatchette's fault. He sucks and the Jets are paying the price. Watch Anthony Becht because, once again, he may be the key to their offense.

Indianapolis/St. Louis
If the Colts could play and came into the game 10-4 instead of -- please wait while I consult the standings - a pathetic 5-9 then this game would be worth grabbing the VCR and taping over the wedding video. Sadly, it is a sideshow. A movie with a great look but no plot - no that isn't a crack at Ocean's 11. A woman with looks but no brains - put the gun down dear. We know the result before the game is played. The Rams and Colts will score a bunch of points, the Colts will have a few more turnovers than the Rams and lose in a game that highlights their offensive prowess and defensive incompetence. Think the Colts missed the drafting boat when they went after Reggie Wayne and not getting a defensive lineman? We do. Watch the Rams defense, as this will be a nice pre-playoff test. Watch the announcers talk glowingly about Manning and Harrison but forgetting that defense is to football as putting is to golf, pitching to baseball, and sex to living.

Cleveland/Tennessee
This should've been a respite after playing Minnesota - they were supposed to be good --, Green Bay, and Oakland. The 10-4 Titans would be finishing with Cleveland and Cincinnati - sure wins - which would give them the AFC Central crown over Baltimore. Not the way it's working in reality. In reality this is a struggle to see which of three teams - Jacksonville is in this dance - will finish out of the money but a respectable third. That is not what the Titans envisioned when the season started and, in all honesty, neither did Cleveland. For Tennessee watch Eddie George, which has become like watching your favorite aunt lying in a coma. For some reason - injuries, too many hits, or offensive line - George has slipped quickly. Now there are a couple ways to look at this. He could be done and next season's second round pick - I'm being generous - will be a great waste. It could be one of those years - Bettis in '95 or Emmitt in '97 - where we all shake our heads at how stupid we were to let someone grab his ass mid third round - could happen. Whatever happens with George next season there is no one that can accurately predict the result. We stayed away this season due to his late training camp start and won't wade into the water for George in 2002. Watch Jamel White because after his bravura performance against Green Bay the fans of Cleveland think they have found the next Jimmy Brown. Where was White last year when the Browns had so many problems running the ball? That's right, he was in Cleveland running the ball for 3.1 yards a carry. Maybe he is a find that just needed time. If he is that is great because it will stop the crazy talk of signing Ricky Watters. Watch Quincy Morgan for signs of life, as he is likely the starter opposite Johnson next season unless the Browns go after another wide receiver high in the draft. Hey Butch, how about a getting a player on the offensive line that doesn't resemble soba. Oh, this is best left to my Monday article - and I will probably repeat the thought there - but I am tired of the ad where some mope dresses like he is Eddie George. I am frightened that we have a large portion of the population dressing as their favorite athlete - sort of a cross-dressing thing without all the implications that normal cross-dressing brings - so must I see it timeout after timeout.

Giants/Philadelphia
This is a game like the Rams/Colts that is drenched in if onlys. Sure the Giants have a chance at the playoffs -- Oliver Stone is preparing a film in case they make it - but they are dependent on the Buccaneers losing, and still have to get past the Eagles and Packers. There is something about Jim Fassel succeeding that turns my stomach, don't know why. Watch the Eagles play calling, as they are haunted with the image of six plays at the goal and nothing to show for it from last week's loss to the 49ers. They are a mess offensively as the philosophy doesn't match the talent. The West Coast offense doesn't match Donovan McNabb's abilities - yet - and his wide receivers can't play the offense either - give Mitchell time. The Giants held one of those pseudo-curses and will be a good match for the Eagles. We believe in that crap the same as we believe in fat free and delicious. Still, a mature team beats a one-armed team, like the Giants, especially one that will have a very weak secondary. Is the secondary weaker or just uglier without Sehorn?

Oakland/Denver
The Broncos season effectively ended with Ed McCaffrey but they perpetuated the hoax until losing to Washington a few weeks back. At that point they were truly dead. This game had some potential back then and the fact that they were playing in Denver with the possibility of snow made this a look ahead beauty. Not now. Now the intrigue surrounds the Raiders and their sudden humanity. They have played poorly the past four weeks, even though they have won twice, and suddenly the offense isn't moving well even if the defense seems to have righted the ship. I'm not sure I believe the defense is playing better or that they ran into two teams - Tennessee and San Diego - that have problems getting out of their own way. Watch the Oakland defense play the run as Terrell Davis is still healthy and averaging almost 90 yards a game on the ground. Watch Rod Smith and Brian Griese as their collective health has as much to do with this being an enjoyable game as almost anything else. Watch Sebastian Janikowski wince with every swing of his massive leg.

Seattle/San Diego
The Hasselbeck kidnapping rumors are just that. Trent Dilfer is playing because Hasselbeck is actually injured not because he is inept. That move should've been made weeks ago. The last time Dilfer lost a game he started Kurt Cobain was still breathing. The main thing to watch isn't Seattle's flickering playoff hopes but the Drew Brees/Doug Flutie battle on the sidelines. Flutie will do anything to keep the job. And Mike Riley is afraid of him but Riley will do anything to keep the flickering hopes of his job retention alive as well. If that includes playing Brees over the antithesis of Dilfer - Flutie has eight straight losses - then so be it. Watch Freddie Jones as rumors spread that the Chargers may cut his ass in the offseason.

Washington/New Orleans
A lot of questions must be asked of Jim Haslett as to why the Saints are 7-7 and, at this point in time, out of the playoffs despite having a healthy Ricky Williams. The defense has problems stopping the pass - only Detroit has allowed more passing scores -and the offense is inconsistent passing the ball - Brooks' 55.7 completion percentage is 26th overall among qualifiers. What is amazing is with Ricky Williams running the ball Brooks is second in the NFL in pass attempts. That would be like the Lakers allowing Shaq to shoot all the technicals. They have an inaccurate QB and a great running back but the game is put in the hands of the inaccurate QB. Someone is deep into the scotch but it isn't us. Well it is us but that is to be expected. Now they have to run the table - Washington/San Francisco - and hope that Tampa stumbles. They could be out and the loss to Tampa a week ago - 30-0 at the half is embarrassing - will be the prime culprit. Washington is talking about re-signing Tony Banks, which is akin to going back o the hooker that gave you rabies. Where is the logic? It's not like Banks is Trent Dilfer bad in that if a great team is around him he can ride shotgun. Tony Banks is expansion team bad. He is Babe Laufenberg bad. Of the thirty-one qualifiers he is dead last in accuracy, he is fifth from the bottom in rating, and only Rob Johnson - when the comparison is Rob Johnson the news is never good - and Matt Hasselbeck have fewer scores. The Redskins should have his bags packed by the end of Week 17 and wish him a great life. If you like field goals this game should be beneficial to John Carney and Brett Conway.

:: comments to mark bond