Watching football on Sundays is as American as super-sizing an order
of chili fries. Each game is a wonderful ballet danced by behemoths
on a stage of mud, blood, and spit. While the crunching bones, the
tearing muscles, and the oozing blood are the main focal points;
there are plenty of mini-dramas that make watching more enjoyable.
Sit back in the corner of the couch, suck on a spicy Bloody Mary,
cover yourself with a Charlie Batch game jersey and we will outline
what you should be watching for each game.
San Francisco/Chicago
Easily the most intriguing game of the week, we can only hope it
is on national TV. Damn, got to get a dish - give me a minute to
compose myself. These two teams are mucking up every projection
made about the season, as neither were supposed to get within a
football field of the playoffs. However, they are screaming louder
than Ronnie James Dio, and we have to sit up and take notice. Is
Chicago's defense for real or made of good games against poor offenses?
Who picks up for Marcus Robinson's loss? Will Marty Booker take
the whole wad or is David Terrell ready to step in? Can San Francisco
continue to operate with only one wide receiver, especially if the
Bears shut down the running game. Count how many times the announcing
noodles compare Brian Urlacher to great Bears middle linebackers
of the past - Butkus, Singletary.
Cincinnati/Detroit
Let's be honest, we all think this is the game that the Lions break
their cherry. The Bengals are not a good team, and the Lions have
been to third base - strange mix of sports/sex metaphor - the last
two games. The problem with this scenario is that this is also the
Corey Dillon hero game. You know, the game where Dillon slams the
opponent all by his lonesome. This creates the chain reaction where
millions of Dillon owners turn to their husbands, wives, partners,
football buddies, and say "What would the mutha do if he had
a real team". This happened four times last season and the
Bengals won three of the four. Watch to see if Larry Foster, or
any of the other mopes opposite Johnny Morton, can play. If they
can't, Morton may not feel so lonely the rest of the season. Look
for camera shots of GM/President/Fool Matt Millen, there will be
plenty. If Detroit doesn't win here, they don't get another chance
until the week before Thanksgiving. This means the possibility of
millions of Americans including the Lions as they say grace Thanksgiving
Day is getting greater.
New Orleans/St. Louis
This game had a different tinge a few weeks back. It was a battle
for NFC supremacy then. Now it is a life and death struggle for
the Saints, who can't pass the ball. That deficiency focuses the
opponent's defense on Ricky Williams and, as good as the dreaded
back is, he can't push past 11-on-1. The game does have a good amount
of intrigue. How close is Aaron Brooks to the pine? If the Saints
get in trouble early, will he see the pine then or do the drumbeats
of the media and fans get Jeff Blake back in the competition for
Week 8? How good are the Rams at stopping the run? They were giving
up yards to the Jets and Curtis Martin before disaster struck and
the Jets had to abandon ship. The problem with running against the
Rams is that the team's defense must keep the Rams in view. That
hasn't happened very often.
Minnesota/Tampa Bay
A few professional lives are on the line in this game. Doug Chapman
and Michael Bennett's starting roles will be decided by Chapman's
play. If he plays well again, Bennett is bound for the bench. If
Chapman is dull or worse, Bennett has life, as only a knockout punch
will slap Denny Green's champ from his perch. This game may be a
huge factor in deciding the fate of Tony Dungy. If the Buccaneers
fall down, their chances of making the playoffs are getting slim
and the problems on offense will fall at Dungy's feet. This is another
game in a long line to see if Randy Moss has any life at all. He
has been a zombie.
NY Jets/Carolina
Not one of the better games on the docket with Carolina already
dead and the Jets treading water. The only reason they are alive
at all is because the rest of the AFC East is treading water - if
the Patriots steal the division at 9-7/8-8 all the other coaches,
save Buffalo's, should be fired. The main attraction to this game
is Richard Huntley. Can he take hold of this job and be a second
or third tier starting running back or does he leave the window
open for Nick Goings - he was coming but lately has left - or Brad
"slower than dung" Hoover? That is the biggest interest.
The development of Chris Weinke now that winning and losing is no
longer important is a tiny sideshow. Nothing on the Jets is really
interesting except to see if Coles can be more than a one-trick
pony. If he can, then he takes a step above bye-week player status.
Jacksonville/Baltimore
One team is on life support, the other is fair, and neither looks
like they've figured out what is killing them. Not a heck of a lot
to watch on the Jags. Stacey Mack is a placeholder at this point
until Fred "the meat falls off the bone" Taylor comes
back. The rest of the team is running in place. The Ravens hold
all the intrigue. If Grbac is hurt, and doesn't play, what happens
if Randall Cunningham is death. He can look great and fool teams
into thinking that he knows how to play, will he fool Brian Billick?
The running game is still sketchy with Jason Brookins - Billick
hates him - taking a turn for the injured Terry Allen. Can he get
some yards against the Jaguars or will the Ravens have ménage
a trois running game the entire season? Also watch to see if the
Jaguars spread the field, and throw early, which keeps Siragusa
and Adams on the field when they shouldn't be. If the Ravens lose,
HBO is abandoning any ideas of sequel.
Arizona/Dallas
Clint Stoerner is the next virgin to be sacrificed by the Cowboys'
think tank - if they have a think tank, it is pretty dry - but,
at least, it is against the Cardinals, not the Eagles. It will be
fun to see if there is any life in the kid however the only Dallas
story is Emmitt. He showed a little leg against the Redskins and
could record decent numbers against the Cardinals. Still, there
is the nagging issue of Troy Hambrick. All of a sudden, Hambrick
is getting notice - tough not to when you are averaging over seven
yards a carry -- and may start taking carries from the future Hall
of Famer. The Cardinals are all intrigue. Jake Plummer and Michael
Pittman are turning into viable fantasy elements. They have a chance
to stay in the playoff race with a win. Think about that. It seems
outrageous but if Philly and the Giants lose - losing to Washington
is crazy enough --, then the Cardinals are the lead dog in the division.
If they win, of course. Oh, almost forgot, if you are lucky enough
to see this game - all living in the area of the Gadsden Purchase
will be viewing -- watch for the Dave Campo face. It is a look of
absolute cluelessness. Priceless.
New England/Denver
There is no crazier story, in a year of crazy stories, than the
Patriots playing good football. A team with bad lines, bad backs,
mediocre receivers, and an immobile quarterback looked to be destined
for four and twelveville. They are now three and three and hot.
Did Willie McGinest or Antowain Smith finally play to their first
round pick life? Did Troy Brown grow three inches or lose a couple
tenths on his forty times? Did Terry Glenn stop listening to Bob
Marley? Nope. Drew Bledsoe was almost killed and Tom Brady came
in like Warren Beatty from Heaven Can Wait. Brady is more mobile
than Bledsoe - as are most corpses --, he's been accurate, and the
offensive coordinators are calling all the right plays. It is amazing.
Can it continue, why not. Kordell Stewart was a quarterback for
a year, why not Brady. And maybe he will be more than that. This
is a good week for him as the Broncos defense hasn't been very stout.
But the Patriots, while attractive, aren't as eye-catching as the
Broncos. There may not be a part of the Denver game that doesn't
have a question hanging over it. Who gets the egg at running back?
Should we crank up 80's three-hit wonders "Men at Work"
for a quick rendition of "Who can it be now"? We know
who it can't be as Terrell Davis is hurting - damn, chunky soup
-- and Mike Anderson has lost his shine from last season. That leaves
Olandis Gary. Shanahan isn't talking. How about second receiver
to Rod Smith? Desmond Clark came alive Week 6 but he has fooled
us before. And Griese is a time bomb with that shoulder. How about
the defense? They couldn't contain Doug Flutie, is Tom Brady the
next to move the rock. If Denver loses and New England wins, the
fun really begins.
Oakland/Philadelphia
The game to watch on this week's slate is the battle between Oakland
and Philly. Not so much for fantasy intrigue, other than the Duce
Staley/Correll Buckhalter tussle as both teams are pretty set, but
for a match between two good teams. The most interesting battle
of the day will be Bobby Taylor/Troy Vincent versus Tim Brown/Jerry
Rice. Excellent corners matched against excellent, aging, wide receivers
is where the fun is located. The Eagles did a good job in the second
half against the Giants - some might say the Giants defended themselves
well - and if they can halt the Raiders running game, then there
might be some life in the Eagles as a contender.
Buffalo/San Diego
Forget any fantasy implications, this game is all about the midget
- Doug Flutie - against the male model - Rob Johnson. Buffalo management
wants to win so they can slap the face of Flutie and the millions
of Flutie lovers in Western New York. Flutie, and former Buffalo,
now San Diego, GM John Butler have their own axes to grind as well.
The rest of the personnel are bit players in this soap opera. On
the fantasy side of things, there isn't a lot to report about San
Diego other than the disappearance of Freddie Jones. We expect that
Buffalo will stack the line to try and slow LaDainian Tomlinson
forcing Flutie to throw to his wide receivers. The Bills will face
a tough San Diego run defense -- Travis Henry owners beware -- and
have to get the ball to the wide receivers, especially Eric Moulds.
Whether Rob Johnson is able is always in question. Moulds is the
fantasy key as he has two receiving touchdowns in the last two games
and his owners expect that pace to continue. But the real game is
between the management of the two teams and the decision to keep/dump
Doug Flutie. Maybe we should outfit Butler and Tom Donahoe in sumo
gear and have them set to. Can it be more entertaining than that?
Miami/Seattle
The great, grand coaching experiment is live in Seattle as Mike
Holmgren will start Matt Hasselbeck, who has one victory and two
losses over Trent Dilfer who has won both games he has started.
Now, Holmgren may be surmising, and there is some evidence to suggest
that he is right, that the problem with the Seahawks was the defense
and since they have tightened, the offense hasn't had to do as much
work. Shaun Alexander's big games - Ricky Watters will start, when
he is healthy, says Holmgren - have helped take pressure off the
defense. But who breaks a streak like this? Mike Holmgren does.
Obviously, for those interested in quarterbacks it is a great game
with Hasselbeck's return to the starting role. In addition, Miami
QB Jay Fiedler is on the firing line as his status in Southern Florida
goes from stud to dud depending on the time of day and the direction
of the wind. It doesn't help Fiedler that the Seattle run defense
has improved and Lamar Smith - surrender your license at the border
-- may be due for a bad game as this will only ratchet up the pressure
on Fiedler and his receiving corps. Watch Chris Chambers -- the
next Randy Moss, is that a compliment? -- as the Dolphins are trying
to spring him for some long plays. Seattle, with a win, becomes
a true player. Miami, with a win, keeps the dogs from the door in
a week where all their AFC East rivals may win their games.
Giants/Washington
The Giants are feeling pretty bad right now. Take away the Denver
game and they feel they should be undefeated. Instead they are 3-3
and riding a two-game losing streak. The reasons are simple, they
can't move the football consistently in the passing game and don't
do well in the red zone. They run the ball well, they stop the run
well, and they are adequate at stopping the pass. They can't pass
the ball well enough to score. Another thing that they are missing
is a good kicker. Morten Andersen does not have a strong enough
leg to be a kicker on a good team. He should be relegated to Cincinnati
or Carolina not kicking for a contender that needs field goals as
part of their every day life. And when the weather turns in the
next two months, the weakness of his leg will show even more. On
the fantasy side of things, Tiki Barber is the biggest attraction
as offensive coordinator Sean Payton is saying that Tiki will see
the ball more in the red zone. Just as it looks like Ron Dayne has
gained the upper hand, Barber is back, like Rasputin, to snatch
time away. As far as the Redskins are concerned, we wish they could
play this game out on a simulator so their presence won't turn the
stomachs of our more sensitive souls.
Tennessee/Pittsburgh
What has happened to Eddie George? What has happened to that great
defense? What has happened to Dan Pastorini? Sorry. The Titans have
problems moving the ball. Ha Ha! Now the Titans get to play the
team that has stopped the movement of the oblong better than anyone
else on the planet - okay, Baltimore is better. Don't expect any
revelations for Tennessee fantasy-wise. If you are counting on any
Tennessee players for fantasy points, we apologize. Pittsburgh doesn't
have much to offer, either, but Jerome Bettis is playing well. However,
the Titans are good against the run. Well their stats say the can
play the run. They haven't played a good running team. They are
bad against the pass. This may be more realistic as they haven't
played a good passing team and are allowing plenty of yards. This
probably shifts the responsibility of winning from Bettis to Kordell
Stewart - all Steelers fans are replicating Edvard Munch's "The
Scream". The Monday night crew will have plenty to talk about
like George, Bettis, Kordell, McNair, Jevon Kearse, and Bill Cowher's
chin. Hopefully, they spend a little time with the Pittsburgh defense,
as that is the best unit on the field.
Mark Bond can be found,
most days, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn, eating hot sausage sandwiches
topped with BBQ chips, chili, and coleslaw, slapping back Cuervo
shooters, and rambling on about those warm evenings spent with Janet
Reno. He is not related to James Bond but has the same air of sophistication
of Sean Connery. Mark is currently annoying his workmates at Jackpot
Sports, home of the first daily fantasy baseball game, the Reggie
Jackson Fantasy Baseball Challenge, plus weekly and seasonal Fantasy
Football games.
