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3/7/00
Email
Dan
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Fourteen teams. 22 rounds in the initial draft. 8 more in
the post draft. That is 420 drafted players. That is scything far
into the future. Think of it. How many fantasy starters do you have
in the NFL? 31 teams with 1 QB, 1.25 RB, 2.75 WR 1 TE, PK and Team
Defense/Special Team equal 248 starters.
Against the shark collection lovingly known as Legion of Doom, the
skills needed in building a roster this deep are the memory of an
ex-wife, the patience of pre-school teacher, the focus of a proctologist
and the Flair of Zorro. Even if you are blessed (or cursed) with
the necessary temperament, there is one nasty environmental toxin
that is beyond any one mortal's control. I will confess to being
Whipped by the Zip. Stick with me while I tell my sorry tale.
I wound up in the middle pair with Justice. He has the seventh pick.
I have the eighth pick. I can not speak for him, but I have been
riding the ravages of the zip. Let's dissect the symptoms. First
the placement of the pick insures I do not get a top shelf running
back. Before I even get a chance to step up to the plate, 6 of the
best have already evaporated. Following the Mantra of Value, I selected
Payton Manning to build a dynasty upon. No one argues with the logic
of taking a franchise player like Payton. It is the "Feeling I have
no choice " that becomes the theme of Slot Number 8. I take Payton
and naively hope that Corry Dillion or a couple of others will drift
back to me. Instead, I watch the machine start to crank as the running
backs continued to evaporate while the backside zip doubled up on
runners.
When the second round crept back down to me, thirteen members of
the RB club have been claimed. I grab the last 1,200 yard 10 touchdown
back left, Emmitt Smith. I had to get one now or the whole season
is already lost. (I need some theme music to play in the background,
can you help me Mike?) The round continues on to the other monster
as the front zip teams double up on receivers. I did not get a chance
to pick receivers because the back zip forced me to go RB. Now the
front zip is ahead and I must react with WR Germane Crowell. A good
pick considering I am in the leftover slot 8. Left with no choice.
As the back zip hammers on receivers and quarterbacks, I am again
left with no standout talents falling to me. This condition is caused
by my previous career of playing in 8-10-12 team leagues. (And playing
with the usual number of newbee/hobbyist) Instead I look at the
group of middle tier receivers these sharks have left me and make
my choice on who would I want to fall back to me in the fifth round.
Strange logic to follow, but it led me to take Albert Connell as
a young and hopefully emerging talent. That is compounded by the
fact Washington will be a juggernaut next year and I still think
Westbrook is a punk who wears out or wears down. I was considering
Mike Alstott or Charlie Garner. In retrospect, I may have made a
mistake letting these guys slip by this round. Of course those guys
did not make it back to me for pick 5.
By then, my running back situation has become critical. I am running
against the zip and I always seem to be one step behind. I feel
like a postman moonlighting at a Doberman Attack Training School.
I grab Jerome Bettis. Way to go Dan, now I am featuring the geriatric
attack. I'll have to gum my opponents into submission. What else
could I do? This did not solve my problems in this position so I
was determined to get another in the next round, even if it turns
out to be a reach.
At this point, all of the safe starters are long gone. Warrick Dunn
is still on the boards. He is a great player. He always totals around
1000 yards. He does tend to be streaky, though. Instead I reached
back for a feeling I developed about the running back situation
in Buffalo. I think Jonathan Linton will take the starter role and
keep it. Even at worse, in a RBBC with Antowain Smith for rushing
yards, I believe Linton will get more receiving yardage and most
of the touchdown. This is a risky pick but with a good payoff this
deep in the draft. The Legion is not going to give me any freebies
so I must trust my instincts to stay with the pack.
Now the zip strikes again as quarterbacks start to dry up. I am
sitting in the seventh round, needing my third starting receiver.
I have already focused on a number of good choices. I am disturbed
by Justice's pick of Kerry Collins just before my pick. I had hoped
he would drift back down to me on the other side. Weighing the quarterbacks
left and what I need for a starting lineup, I took Keenan McCardell.
I think some of Jacksonville's offensive sluggishness was the results
of McCardell's struggles with injuries. He has no history of chronic
injury and I consider it a down year. I must live in hope as the
quarterbacks continue to disappear in the backside of the zip. This
serious situation is highlighted by the Jay's double quarterback
whammy (may the fleas of a thousand camels infest his underwear).
I am scrambling to catch up again. I feel forced to take a quarterback
in the eighth round. That is when I decided to fight the zip. In
a blow for freedom or a blow my brains out pick, I took TE Freddie
Jones. I counted 4 legit quarterbacks left when I took Freddie.
I should have known four quarterbacks would be taken before I would
get another pick. Whipped by the Zip again.
So as the blows fall on my roster plans, I am always caught in the
middle, trying to react to the power others have in pushing the
draft in directions I am clawing to keep up with. This is fun and
this is serious. And I fire one final choice in defiance. As a pray
to the old gods and particularly the Goddess Fortuna, the Pagans
take QB Kent Graham as the ninth round sleeper of the draft. I think
Kordell is on his way out. It is only a matter of time until Graham
takes the reigns. All he has to do is cover Payton's backside and
I will be happy.
So light a candle for me and say a prayer to the Spirits, or Saints
if you please. I'm surely going to need it. Stay tuned to the Legion
of Doom and see who does well next season. Quam ob rem eum expulerunt.
Editors Note: Check out the Legion
of Doom Dynasty League!
:: comments to dan
sez
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